Travel Gripes: Getting There is Half the Battle (Pt. 1 of 2)

Undoubtedly, the biggest news surrounding the Tri-State area has been the blizzard that blew through on Sunday and pretty much paralyzed the area through most of Monday. Today, things are getting back to business as usual but last I heard there was snow accumulation of upwards of 20 inches in NYC and I felt just how strong the winds were during my brief foray outdoors on Sunday and Monday. Staying in was definitely the best course of action but since I was returning home from a holiday trip when the blizzard started, I had no choice but to hunker down and hope that I made it there as quickly as possible, with little incident. You see, with a whole day and a half off from work and the promise of an extended weekend, I took the opportunity to book a trip to visit family in Virginia. During the previous weekend, I’d taken a bus down to D.C. and before I could even leave the city, what had started off on a high note quickly went south when I arrived at the pick-up location and came upon the mass of people who were clogging up the sidewalks waiting for their delayed bus. My bus was in turn delayed and it took over two hours of standing in the freezing cold before the bus arrived and we were finally on our way. At the time, I thought that that was the worst that could happen but apparently, I was overly optimistic that nothing would mar the holiday weekend.

In general, I hate traveling during major holidays. There are always too many people in one place and inevitable delays. But it’s a necessary evil. And although I very much wanted to be home on Christmas with the rest of my immediate family, I could not go back on my promise to visit one particular family member who would be alone for the holidays. So I sucked it up and prepared myself to tack on at least another hour to my trip. But I could not have prepared myself for how long my estimated 6-7 hours trip actually lasted. Imagine this, we’re steadily rolling along for close to an hour after pulling away from a rest stop in New Jersey when the bus suddenly slows down and pulls off to a soft shoulder. The driver briefly steps out to check on something and is starting up again within a few minutes. My thoughts at that point were that he really needed a cigarette or to empty his bladder and I couldn’t begrudge him that, as long as there weren’t any more sudden stops. But that was exactly what happened. Not only once but three more times the bus started and stopped before the driver finally announced that he would have to pull into a strip mall close by and we’d have to wait about two hours for another bus! Throughout the stops, a few of my fellow passengers went up to the bus driver and asked him to tell us what was going on. Not an unreasonable request, considering we were paying customers and we were expecting our next and final stop to be in Virginia, not Delaware. But since the driver claimed not to speak any English, he pretty much ignored all questions and said nothing more than he felt that he needed to. One can imagine how someone would react to being ignored in such a manner but that’s Chinatown customer service for you!

The Chinatown bus companies have a long, storied history of poor, rude service, cramped buses and uncommunicative drivers and I saw evidence of this when I boarded the bus. The only words spoken to the customers were instructions to have their tickets available and when a passenger complained that his seat was wet, they told him to sit down. When he refused, the drivers told him to get off the bus and wait for another one and started pulling off before he’d gotten a chance to comply. If this was a sign of things to come, I missed the memo completely. In all fairness, if the proprietors and drivers were bad, the customers weren’t much better either. Many were loud and inconsiderate…but one can concede that their behavior manifested as a result of our shared circumstance.

When our bus broke down, instead of sitting quietly, napping, reading, or doing any type of constructive activity, most of the fifty plus passengers took the opportunity to socialize. Some made frequent trips to the liquor store and smoked and drank steadily for the over fours hours that we had to wait until another bus showed up. Some stayed on the bus and talked in loud voices to the people around them. And some gossiped about the people drinking on the sidewalk. One woman in particular seemed to feel duty-bound to give play-by-play announcements of other people’s activities. When people ran across the parking lot to find a restroom, she reported on it. When a group made yet another trip to the liquor store, she mentioned that too and made her disdain clear. Every word spoken and every action taken was an opportunity for her to comment. And judge. For me, she was one of the most annoying passengers because of her know-it-all, holier-than-thou attitude and strident voice that seemed to reverberate in my ear. Just my luck that she had the seat directly behind me! Of course, the real drama didn’t start until some of the drinkers were drunk enough to feel put out by the fact that we were well beyond the estimated two hours wait and there was no bus in sight and no forthcoming news from the driver. As if this would help our cause, a few of the drunks proceeded to curse and threaten the driver with bodily harm if a bus didn’t show up within a certain amount of time. This went on a few more times and thankfully, the driver survived each encounter unharmed. But I was relieved when a state trooper arrived (someone called to report the bus driver?) and these episodes came to an end. Since I was sitting in the second row, I couldn’t help but witness the exchanges and while the developing drama added interest to what could have been an otherwise dull trip, it shamed me. These were not people who I wanted to spend any considerable amount of time with and I’d have to consider other options when making travel plans in the future.

If I thought that our remaining 3 hours drive would pass in peace and quiet because of the late hour, I was once again proven wrong. Shortly after the state trooper arrived to question the driver and make some calls, another bus pulled up and we were quickly underway. We had first boarded the bus around 3 pm and it was now sometime after midnight. Clearly, many of us were tired but some people, mainly the drunk people, weren’t ready to pass out or let us rest. While the bus was in motion, the walked up and down the aisle, passed out liquor to anyone who wanted some, spoke in loud voices and generally made a nuisance of themselves. Some of the other passengers yelled at them to sit down and shut up and it was another hour before the bus finally quieted down and peace reigned. When I finally disembarked from the bus just before 4 am (a whole 12 hours from when I first boarded), I bitterly regretted that I had purchased a round trip ticket. I was not looking forward to repeating any part of that experience.

Check back for part 2 wherein I recount my attempt to brave a blizzard in order to get home.

Random Gripes: I'm the only moron in the world to get a JAYWALKING ticket!

A couple weeks ago, I received an email from 20SB announcing their eighth Blog Swap. I'd seen such emails in the past and had given a passing thought to participating but had never taken the necessary steps. You see, a Blog Swap involves featuring the post of a fellow blogger and being featured on their site in return. I have contributed to a friend's blog before but I haven't as yet featured anyone else on this blog. Sure, some of my friends have an open invitation to send me content or ideas they want to see me explore but having someone contribute an entire post is a new experience. And because I'm all about the experience, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to swap with guest blogger Africanlegend, who apparently had a recent run-in with law enforcement that he wants to share with us. Check him out:

I have long and distinguished resume of highly unlikely things that happen to me, I can regretfully report that I must add another.

January 2010….I AM ONE OF THE SELECT AND DISTINGUISHED CLASS OF ASSHOLES THAT HAS MANAGED TO GET A JAYWALKING TICKET.

THE STORY…..

It was a fairly mediocre Friday night, in fact in my memory, quite possibly as ordinary as Fridays can get. I was sitting in my living room. It was cozy, I felt safe and secure. Suddenly, I heard my phone vibrate and sprung up as if somebody poured a bucket of ice cold water on me. My friend Brian was downtown having fun and like a cancer the joy in his voice spread and I began to feel like a loser sitting on his couch on a Friday night: voluntarily. I jumped up to join him but quickly thought for a minute about the fact that I could hear my phone vibrating (doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a “vibrate” setting?).

I arrived downtown. It was busy. There were drunken douchebags everywhere stumbling around. It looked like a moving Abercrombie catalogue with drunk models bumping their heads to bad hip-hop music. I finally found Brian and he was with two extremely crazy, unstable Englishmen, Matt and Ellis. Immediately I entered the bar the decided to relocated to another bar. Total alcohol consumption 0-1 beers.

The street was busy. We were at a four way stop and we decided to cut across the road to meet another walk signal (See: FIG A). My friends moved quickly across so I sped up to 1.75 times the speed of a casual walk. When I caught up with them, I proceeded to pat Brian on the back in some kind of boyish, “wow it’s good to be out” gesture.

Two seconds later we were apprehended by a couple of cops on bicycles. The Bicycle laden cops had got their perps and like a terrible cliché it happened to be four foreigners: a black dude, two Englishmen, and a Puerto Rican. In the back of my head I was thinking, “Oh no, somehow this will be filmed and I’ll end up being used in some anti-foreigner propaganda on FOX.”

A few minutes after we got caught…

Officer: Saw you crossing in the middle of road, I’m gonna have to right you up!

A.L: For what?

Officer: A traffic violation…

A.L: But I’m not in car?

Officer: You don’t have to be buddy. It’s Jaywalking!

A.L: HA HA HA…oh man like that segment on Jay Leno’s show...wait, seriously? Wait, I thought that’s not a real law. Is it?

Officer: You bet it is!

A.L: They arrest people for that? But it’s walking?

I started grinning and laughing under my breath, half-expecting that both officers would suddenly start stripping and our friend had played a distasteful practical joke on us.

Officer: SIR! Do you think this is funny? DO YOU THINKING THIS IS FUNNY!?

A.L: Well sorry sir but honestly, yes, a little funny. I just didn’t think anyone actually got tickets for stuff like this!

I realized I should just shut up. The cop finished writing me a ticket, looked at my Arizona ID and suddenly softened his aggressive tone.

Officer: You have an accent, where are you from?

A.L: Excuse me sir?

Officer: I mean you do not sound like you are from around here. Where are you originally from?

A.L: (puzzled) I am from exactly where my ID says, no place different.

Officer: OK? I was just trying to make conversation (in a tone suggesting that in this whole transaction that somehow I was the asshole).

A.L: Sir, forgive me if I don’t feel like a casual chit chat after getting a JAYWALKING ticket worth (I looked down)…holy Sh@T...!

MEANWHILE…

I looked across and the Matt/Ellis/Brian situation was panning out in a grossly less civil manner. Brian is telling a short, stalky officer that his mom is a lawyer and will throw the book at him. Matt was saying something non-aggressive but because of his English accent, which I admit even I don’t understand sometimes, he must have sounded like a Chelsea Football Club hooligan about to fight with an opposing fan. The officer that attended to me rushed over and grabbed Matt.

In any event, we all decided it’s better to just leave. As we were walking away, Matt began to vent to us, using a few choice words that wouldn’t fly in a class room. The officers, who had retreated by now to about 15 yards, heard him in the distance and in a bizarre change of mood, decided he needed to be arrested? Before long Matt was licking the wall while being handcuffed ~ FML

A few minutes later, we were sitting on the sidewalk watching Matt being tossed in the back of a paddy wagon. A black officer arrived at the scene of the crime. I thought I could at least reason with him, if for no other reason, because of our co-blackness but he didn’t listen at all. All he did was just repeat the same sentence over and over again as if a DJ was scratching a killer remix with a sample of his voice. I shook my head and walked away while he continued to mumble the same line over and over again. I began to suspect that at least this set of officers had smoked something tonight, and it was not for medicinal purposes.

CONCLUSIONS………..?

Yes you can get a Jaywalking ticket! They aren’t made up…

Yes it CAN cost $150…..which strangely is double the price of the ticket you get for running a red light, which may actually result in you running over someone that is jaywalking, but all that is semantics!

Don’t hang out with Englishmen….

If you are black, don’t expect the black cop to help you. He is one of them.

If you are comfortable and content just sitting there relaxing on a Friday night and you get a call from one of your buddies…SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND READ A BOOK!

Keep Griping!

To learn more about Africanlegend and to see what nugget I had to share with his audience, check out his blog.

Comedy Gripes: No Fairplay in Comedy

I might have mentioned that I had a few friends visit me this summer, all arriving within a week or two of each other. Whenever I have visitors, I try to plan activities that I know will interest them and while I think I did an okay job of it this time around, I would sometimes find myself thinking of activities that might have made for an even better visit for my friends. Such was the case when I casually mentioned to G. that I wish I had thought to get tickets to the Chelsea Lately show when she is in town. Chelsea’s comedy style is often dry and biting and can be summed up with the expression ‘take it or leave’. I thought G. would fall into the former group, and she did for a time, but now she is firmly in the other camp. She could think of nothing worst than sitting in the audience at the Chelsea Lately show.

Because it sometimes seems as though I live under a rock, G. sent me this clip as explanation for why she is no longer a fan of Chelsea Handler. Apparently, the comedian went much too far in perpetuating existing race stereotypes (i.e. all black women want to marry ex-cons and all black men end up in prison) and criticizing other minority groups. According to G., this has been going on for some time and even minority comedians who sit on Chelsea’s panel during the opening set are not immune from her criticism. So, while she was initially okay with it, G. feels that is has gone too far and that Chelsea’s joke are in poor taste. And, they’re not funny!

Now, I watch the show on occasion as a sort of nightcap before I fall asleep and thus far, I haven’t heard anything that I found offensive. Additionally, I watched the video and while it is not the most comfortable thing to hear, I wondered how this was different from the jokes that black comedians tell about people from other racial groups. Fair is fair, right? Not so, says G. Rather, she feels that blacks have hardly been on the receiving end of fair and instead, often have to be accommodating. I had to pause and think about this because on the one hand, G. is right. Blacks are still rebounding from a few hundred years of neglect and while some may think that we are at a point where we can say that everyone is equal, there is still evidence to the contrary. For instance, when blacks speak up or act out in any way, they are viewed as confrontational and reprimanded in some way. For whites, overly emotional behavior is simply seen as a personality trait and shrugged off. Obviously, we live in a world where there are shades of gray and things are far from clear. But consider this example and you’ll see G.’s point.

On the other hand, do we have any right to expect that whites will hold back when we so freely paint insulting images of them and of each other, all in the name of comedy? Should jokes about minorities be limited to minority comedians while white jokes are open to all? Will we ever get to a point where we can say fair is fair and have evidence to support that expression? Something to think about…

Travel Gripes: Homegrown Travel, Las Vegas Edition (Pt. 3 of 3)

I've heard the expression ‘everything's bigger in Texas’ but after my most recent trip to celebrate a friend's birthday, I think it should rightfully be changed to 'everything’s bigger in Las Vegas.' Truly! I used to marvel at the fact that Macy's at Herald Square stretched all the way from 6th to 7th avenue and across two city blocks. But after witnessing the magnificence of the resorts in Vegas— miles and miles of hotel and casino real estate big enough to house roller coasters, theaters, nightclubs, restaurants, and more— I haven’t looked at Macy’s the same way again. While planning this first visit to Las Vegas, N. and I were not wise to the layout. We foolishly thought that one block in our respective cities was equivalent to one city block in Las Vegas and that our hotel, Mandalay Bay, would be well within walking distance of at least mid-strip, although it was located at the south end of the strip. After all, everything looked to be so close together on the maps. How wrong we were! Most resorts stretched upwards and spanned well over a mile. On the plus side, we got plenty of exercise on our daily jaunts. On the other hand, unless one of us had a burning desire to visit another casino, say Treasure Island, we often limited out late-night excursions to casinos that were easily traversed to and from Mandalay Bay on foot.










Our first night in Vegas was…a snooze, but a well-needed one. The plan was to drop off our luggage, freshen up and go down to the casino and/or one of the lounges. Of course, we neglected to take into account that we’d both be working a full day before boarding our flights and that when we arrived, we would have lost three hours with the time change. So what actually happened is that my flight landed just after 10 pm and we arrived exhausted at our hotel just before midnight. Instead of freshening up, we rested up…and woke early the next morning. Sadly, we weren’t quite over our jetlag from that first night because the next night, we again laid down for a rest just after 10 pm and woke up much later than the hour we had planned for that would have had us out the door and flashing our VIP wristbands before the midnight deadline. But while we were catching up on sleep and adjusting to the current time zone those first two nights, we managed to pack a lot into our days.











For breakfast we didn’t stray too far from Mandalay Bay. Our hotel was home to three cafes/buffets and we were content to start our mornings off in a leisurely manner before heading out to explore each day. By chance, we spent a good portion of our time at the MGM Grand (ironically, this was my first choice for accommodations). Since we were situated at one end, MGM Grand seemed to be our connecting point to the rest of strip and each day found us there either gambling (low-risk) and indulging in the free drinks, taking in the Cirque Du Soleil show, Ka, eating what would be our best meal for the entire weekend at Fiamma Trattoria, and patronizing the ultra lounge, Tabu where a group of bachelors tried to convince us to dance on their table. Of course, we also popped into New York New York, Cesar’s Palace and a few other casinos, made time for shopping at the Miracle Mile Shops, took in a low-budget but entertaining variety show, V, and based on the recommendation of a local, ate a truly horribly dinner at Planet Dailies in Planet Hollywood. The Eiffel Tower observation deck was a must-do because it offered amazing views of the entire strip and parts of downtown. We also had a bird’s eye view of the water show in front of the Bellagio and as good as it was up high, it was even more spectacular when we stopped by the posh resort to get a more close-up view. Finally, at N.’ s request, we spent our last day learning about one of the man-made wonders close by, the Hoover Dam. We lucked out with a knowledgeable tour guide who also tacked on stops to the welcome sign, through parts of the downtown area, and across the entire strip, all accompanied with factual tidbits. Quite a bargain! Although we would have loved to have seen it, making it to the Grand Canyon required more time than we had to spare but it really would have been a shame to get so close and not see at least one of the United States’ great accomplishments.











Unfortunately, while we managed to do and see a lot, there were a couple things on our must-do list that we missed out on. After our all-day trip to the Hoover Dam, we had little time in which to eat a quick, overpriced dinner at Border Grill before taking the tram to Excalibur and trekking over to MGM Grand, where we would catch the monorail across the strip near Casino Royale, the closest stop for our ultimate destination, Treasure Island. We burned a fair amount of calories in our attempt to get there before the Sirens of the Cove show started. Only, when we got there, rather than performing the pirates and sirens were posing for pictures! Apparently, because of high winds and inclement weather, the 8:30 pm show had been cancelled. Yes, Vegas was cold and windy! We had the option to check back around 10 pm on the off chance that the next show would go on. Or not! Since we’d already planned to stop by the Flamingo to catch the George Wallace comedy special, we decided against staying and headed southward, bypassing the volcano show at the Mirage. Other than temporarily sheltering us from the cold, the outdated bright pink confection that is the Flamingo was a bust. The comedy show was close to being sold out except for two tables in the back of the room. For N. and I, that just wouldn’t do. We’d luxuriated in the orchestra section when we saw Ka and just couldn’t bring ourselves to pay good money for bad seats. So, we took the only option left to us: headed back to our hotel to get club-ready. Although we had early flights the next morning, we made the most of our last night, flashing our VIP passes at the Foundation Room, the Cathouse, and grooving at a couple of the open area lounges. None could be considered the best clubs I’ve ever been to but I dare say that they made for a fitting end to a trip to fabulous Las Vegas.

Travel Gripes: Homegrown Travel, New Orleans Edition (Pt. 2 of 3)

Independence Day found me smack dab in the middle of a weeklong trip to New Orleans. While G., C. and I had briefly discussed heading down for the Essence Festival in separate conversations last year, no plans were ever formed. This year, planning was quickly underway and everything came together beautifully to the point that months in advance, four of us had both flights and concert tickets in hand. G.’s family hosted and were the epitome of southern hospitality. We ate great local food (jambalaya, gumbo, po’boys), slept in comfortable beds, and basked in good company. While our main purpose for being in town was to attend the concerts and related events, we took full advantage of the opportunity to soak up the culture of a truly unique city.

Insisting that we wake up before 5am so that we could go watch the Steve Harvey Show as it broadcast live at the Convention Center was not one of my brighter ideas. On the occasion when my eyes try to open at such an hour, I usually force them close in my attempt to get another hour or two of sleep in before I have to get up and start my day. But since we were on vacation...We might have survived the morning if we hadn’t spent the previous night barhopping in the French Quarter but since we did, most of us were in crash mode for the better part of the morning. But it’s all about the experience right? Other than that first day, G., C., V., and I enjoyed leisurely mornings followed by days spent shopping, dropping in on the conferences at the Convention Center, people watching, taking the ferry, daiquiri runs, family barbeques, and checking out the changes around town since Hurricane Katrina.

By far, some of our best concert moments include second line dancing with some wanna-be pimps, getting up close and personal with Chrissette Michelle and Estelle in the super lounges, and watching the Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys performances from the floor of the Superdome. How we got to the floor is a story in and of itself, one that includes a complete loss of dignity, crawling across entire rows of people so that we could get to the security entrance that would give us the best chance of gaining access to the floor where our hook-up was saving premium seats for us. Under normal circumstances I don’t like to beg. I abhor it. So having to beg and being rejected multiple times before the guards took pity on us and finally allowed us entrance left me feeling a bit like groupie that first night. It was more than I was willing to take so being questioned by security and asked to produce a floor ticket while my friends looked on was enough to send me over the edge. I was ready to bite someone's head off and would have surely been kicked out of the arena but thankfully our hook-up came by in the nick of time and helped salvage what could have been an embarrassing end to an interesting evening. Yet, it only took Mary J. walking out on stage to bring us all to our feet and help us forget just how precarious our position really was. Behold, the beauty of great music!

Coming up, highlights of my recent trip to fabulous Las Vegas!

Travel Gripes: Homegrown Travel, Chicago Edition (Pt. 1 of 3)

I love to travel! There’s nothing quite like the excitement I feel when I am getting ready to go off on another adventure. I am not so much a fan of the process of getting there (who wants to be bothered with long flights and airport security?) but once I am there, it’s all about hitting the ground running. I like to intersperse moments of relaxation into my travel but it is by no means my main goal. Rather, I like to fill my days seeing as much as possible and participating in as many local activities as I can before falling into bed from exhaustion each night. I get pretty good sleep at home so when I vacation, my focus is on being an active participant. Of course, if some of the activities are of a restful nature that’s fine too.

I've been fortunate to have taken a few great trips this year and as the time when I will start planning my next adventure abroad nears and as I feel the claws of wanderlust slowly sinking in, I’ve taken some time to reflect on some of the trips that contributed to making this year such a great one. I wrote extensively about my trip to Spain this past Spring and since that visit marked my first time in Europe, it's understandable that I would bask in remembrance. But I've been remiss in sharing some of the fun that I had right here on the home front. Hence, this series of posts with highlight my visits to Chicago, New Orleans, and Las Vegas.

Chicago

I kicked off New Years with an extended weekend in Chicago (by way of Milwaukee) and from the moment I arrived, sleep became a valuable commodity that I could ill afford. Just the way I like it! After my delayed flight finally touched down on a snow-covered runway, I had just enough time to drop my luggage off and eat a quick dinner before G. was shuffling us out the door to meet up with V. and hit the town. This set the tone for the long weekend in Chicago. Our days started late in the mornings at which point we'd eat a leisurely breakfast, head out for sightseeing and shopping, and return home early in the evening for a home-cooked meal, courtesy of G. We'd then relax for a bit before preparing ourselves for nights that ended in the wee hours of the morning, where we’d go from club to club and party to party. We didn’t waste time thinking about too much beyond the moment. So, it's only fitting that our last night in Chicago would have us returning home from a reggae club after 3am and waking up an hour or so later so that I could make my 6am flight home. I was very much awake and on the edge of my seat, watching the minutes fly by but I don’t think I would have changed much (the misadventures contribute to the fun but the cold was another thing altogether). That last night in Chicago was arguably our best one and when I finally made it home a few hours later, I had plenty of time to defrost and catch up on the sleep I'd missed over the past few days.

A fun time was had in Chicago but if I didn’t mention just how cold it was there, I’d be painting too rosy a picture. It was freezing cold! There were moments when I questioned why I was standing outside in the cold, waiting in line to get into a club. G. and I would huddle up to the other club-goers, trying to share our collective body warmth. Granted, unlike a lot of the other people, we at least were wearing our coats and scarves. But in bone-penetrating cold like that, nothing short of staying indoors is ever quite enough. I have never been a fan of extreme temps and although hard to avoid given where I live, I try to stay out of it as much as possible. So Chicago for New Years would seem like an odd choice. I can only chalk it up to invitation offer and acceptance, available vacation time, and impulse. I’ve found that my best trips were the ones that I either planned at the last minute or booked almost immediately. No chance for over-thinking to ruin well-laid plans!

Check back over the next few days for highlights (with pics) of my visits to New Orleans and Las Vegas.

News Gripes: NPR Out of Touch with Reality

I came across this news article about NPR’s firing of journalist, Juan Williams, and I was shocked at what I read. The article basically states that Williams was fired for a comment that he made about his feelings toward Muslims while appearing on “The O’Reilly Factor”. In rehashing Bill O’Reilly’s comment during his appearance on “ The View” and the drama it stirred up, Williams admitted:

“...when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”

While not the best thing he could have admitted to, I understand where he is coming from, especially in light of 9/11 where Islamic extremists used airplanes as weapons of mass destruction and caused enduring and irreparable damage. I saw this as a very real and honest response; NPR saw it as a reason to give Williams his walking paper. I watched the clips and I don't see a valid reason for why he was fired. He expressed his feelings, something many people can relate to, and while some of us saw complete honesty in an arena where this is rare, NPR saw a case for bigotry. When people are punished for expressing their personal opinions, no matter how unpopular it may be, it’s no wonder we live in such a guarded society where those in the know feed us drivel instead of telling us the unvarnished truth.

From time to time, G. sends me NPR articles that she thinks I might find interesting and I’ve even signed in to log my opinion on the rare occasion. But I am not a regular NPR subscriber. If I were I would have to think twice about tuning in, in light of how they handled the Juan Williams situation. In a country that purports, or rather, expresses free speech and readily provides a platform for radical types to spout extreme and often nonsensical viewpoints, it's hypocritical that someone can be fired for expressing his or her honest opinion. It’s a real shame when we have to guard our words because we are afraid of what the consequences will be.

Movie Gripes: "Killers" Bored Me To Death!

Killers has got to be one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time. It was not a movie that I had any real desire to see but since it was freely available at the library, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to check it out. Wrong! I wish I could get back the hour and forty minutes that I spent watching this atrocity but alas, try as I might, I can’t seem to eradicate it from my memory. Not yet. Hopefully the next ten movies I watch will go a long way towards accomplishing that.

Killers star Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher as a successful couple who met while on vacation and fast-tracked to marriage. They lead a seemingly pleasant life until his past as a “licensed killer” catches up to him and he becomes Target No.1. The movie is categorized as an action flick and while there was plenty of shooting, blowing things up, and hand-to-hand combat to round things out, it was a major snooze fest. Not interesting at all! First, the chemistry between the leads was nonexistent but I think this has more to do with the actors themselves. Both lack any kind of charisma and while she’s prone to histrionics that can be gratingly annoying after a time, he’s just…bland and without affect. I don’t how he ever got into acting but this farce of billing him as such has gone on long enough. If ever someone truly deserves a Razzie, it’s him. And her.

Of course, the dialogue and plot didn’t exactly deliver anything praise-worthy either. Picture this, a couple lives in a close-knit community, blissfully unaware that friends, co-workers and neighbors alike are plants just waiting to be activated and get the kill order. This is a stretch even for real-life t*******ts and we all know how effective certain organizations have been at using sleepers to infiltrate entire countries. But I digress. The dialogue is flat and cheesy at best and I was hard-pressed to crack even one smile. Trust me, I laugh over the stupidest stuff but this was even more than I could handle. I knew the movie was going nowhere when a half hour in, we were still exploring the couple’s coupledom and listening to their trite conversations. Seriously! I should have stopped it at this point but I chose instead to let it play on while I found other distractions. Killers pretty much lost me at the beginning because when it finally delivered several action sequences in close succession, I was not moved. Nothing about this movie excited me.

I’ve heard people say that best part was the end when describing a really bad movie, play, or whatever. That expression fits Killers perfectly. When the credits rolled and I heard the lyrics “I’m fed up…” I knew that at least one other person realized that this movie was no prize. Before it wrapped, Killers managed to drop one last stink bomb because the resolution has got to be the most convoluted part of the movie. Unfortunately, good or bad, I still hate to give away the ending of anything so I’ll say very little else about it. I will add that Mr. Magnum P.I., Tom Selleck, disappointed me because up until that point, I thought that he was the movie’s only saving grace and the only one in Killers who really saw it for what it is: a load of crap!

Book Gripes: The Four Agreements

I’m not a fan of self help books. I am not completely averse to those books that tackle intangible issues such as a happiness and personal growth and try to sell people on a particular concept. But I don’t buy that we can reach these very personal goals through someone else’s methods. One-size-fits-all does not apply and I believe that we dictate our level of growth and happiness. Do we really need someone to tell us this or try to sell us on their methods? It is with this ambivalence that I recently read Don Miguel Ruiz’s, The Four Agreements , which is promoted as a guide to personal freedom.

The Four Agreements are:

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don’t take anything personally
• Don’t make assumptions
• Always do your best

Although a mere 130 something pages, this little book took quite a bit of time and effort to read, not because the concepts were difficult to grasp but because I had very little interest in reading it. I wholly agreed that the Agreements were reasonable but I found the details designed to clarify them to be unnecessary. The fact that I was able to finish is a testament to my determination. Sheer willpower! I knew a few pages in that I would not glean anything more from this exalted text than I had already gathered from the book jacket when I first picked up the book from my local library. So why did I bother? Well, G. said that she liked it and when my friends recommend books to me, I like to give them every possible chance before forming a final verdict. And, for the most part, the book jacket was mildly interesting. The Four Agreements are certainly not new concepts but while I would often tell myself to do something or the other, I never looked at it as making agreements with myself. So I often broke these “Agreements” without giving it a second thought. If this little book did anything, it solidified the idea that I can and should internalize certain ideals and live accordingly. Still, if anyone asked for my opinion, I would tell them to read the jacket and skip the rest. Happy reading!

Event Gripes: The Wedding & The Dress

Have you ever been to a party where you hadn't planned on staying until the very end and then you looked up as they were turning on the lights and realized that that’s exactly what happened? Well, that was my experience when my friend K. got married. I’d known about the wedding for quite a while but in the last two weeks leading up to it, I discussed it with friends and family with annoying frequency. Actually, I didn’t talk about the wedding so much as I discussed what I would wear to it. You see, I don’t wear dresses too often and the wedding would be a formal affair. I refused to show up in pants or basic black. Care needed to be taken and I needed to go shopping!

Unfortunately for my friends, I mentioned every shopping foray every chance I got. Since I went shopping a few times each week in search of a dress, this was more often than I like to admit. And when I finally found two dresses two days before the wedding, I needed to try them on and get my sister’s opinion, send pictures to G. to get her take, show pictures to my co-worker and a few others to get their feedback and generally annoy everyone with talks about what I would wear to the wedding. Even the bride was not immune from my dress talks but since it was her day, I tried to keep it at a minimum and leave the focus where it needed to be, on her. In any case, when it came down to choosing between my two options we were all in agreement and if the compliments I received at the wedding are anything to go by, I made the right choice. Of course, I also needed accessories which in turn led to even more annoying chats. I was a monster, but one who was well put-together come wedding day.

The wedding itself was a wonderful affair. The venue was elegant and featured a beautiful view. The bride was stunning in her original dress and unique updo and she and her new husband made for an adorable couple. Their wedding was a perfect blend of traditional and unconventional touches which seemed perfectly suited to the pair. Of course, during the receptions there were the incidents you expect to find at a wedding what with people getting stumbling drunk but nothing could have detracted from the happiness that radiated around the room.

As much fun as I had, I was initially worried about not knowing too many people at the wedding. Even after I was allowed to bring a friend along for company. I wanted the evening to be about sharing in K.’s enjoyment, not trying to generate conversation with strangers out of thin air. My worry was for naught. When I arrived, I immediately saw some recognizable faces and as the evening wore on, I caught up with some about what’s been going on with them and I met some new faces who were as happy to be there as I was. But more importantly I simply enjoyed being in that moment! Between sampling the Southern-style food, taking pictures in the photo booth, laughing at some of the hilarious antics and toasts, dancing to songs I didn’t know or hadn’t heard in a long time, and sharing in my friend’s joy I had a blast! I only hope that all of my yet-to-be-married friends also know how to throw parties that elicit this much fun.

Hair Gripes: Fear the Chop

When I first BC-ed i.e. Big Chopped (yep, I know the terminology ) about a month ago I could have related to this woman, a little bit. I want to emphasize the “a little bit” part because while I can relate to her having certain expectations and mentally preparing herself to stop at a certain length, that’s where it ends. Yea, the hairstylist messed her hair up but I think she’s taking things too hard and not giving herself much of a chance to really own her new look. I mean, I'm looking at it, and it came out good in the end. Isn't that what matters? I’m sure there are plenty of people who’ve told her how cute her new do is but I do understand that she is the only one who needs to believe it to be true. I'm sorry that she is not enjoying her natural journey to the fullest but I am and I think my hair looks fabulous post-BC. Check out my "Big Chop" story over on Back To Curly, a fabulous natural hair blog, and tell me I’m lying. I dare you!

Music Gripes: Real Soul

I only needed to hear Leela James (Tell Me You Love Me) and Raheem Devaughn’s (Bulletproof) duet, Mr. Incredible, Ms. Unforgettable, once before I knew that I loved it. What’s not to love? This song exudes soul from the first note to the last. And, both artists are great in their own rights. In my opinion, they are underrated artists who are among the few who set the standard for what real music sounds like in an age where one song is starting to sound the same as the next and when fewer songs manage to move you and make you feel something with one listen. This song does that. It touches your soul and I at least, want to hear it over and over again. Happy soulful weekend!

Fashion Gripes: Choice Accessories

I learned a tangible truth not too long ago. It was a lesson that as a former fashion student I should have learned long ago. But even as a student, I was more interested in prints and bright, funky colors than in anything else. Sure I could help someone else pull a fierce look together but I often stopped short of pushing the boundaries of fashion when it came to my own appearance. Make no mistake, I was no fashion slob! I knew what looked good on me and I knew when it was time to switch out the clothes that I was hanging on to in the vain hope of losing the pounds that I gained over the years. So how could I completely miss out on the fact that it’s not only about what the clothes look like or how the hair is flowing but also the choice of accessories that pull a look together?

I’ve always been a fan of belts and shoes but not so much so of jewelry. Part of this stems from the fact that I had a habit of losing things so when I would receive pricey bracelets or the like as presents, it seemed safer to leave them at home in my jewelry box. Also, I was more into small, tasteful jewelry- the kind you can wear with any outfit- so I am truly surprise at how much fun I’m having playing with dangly earrings and chunky bracelets and selecting the right pieces to go with whatever look I’m trying to achieve on a given day. By far, my favorite piece of accessory is the headband. I can no longer visit a store and leave without first checking out the hair accessories and over the past few months, I’ve amassed several funky finds. Headbands are definitely deeply intertwined with my overall look. Of course, it all started with the hair. When I first made the decision to transition to a more natural state, headbands felt like a necessity to cover unsightly roots. Now that I’m all the way natural, it’s all about the fashion. I wonder where else my hair journey will lead me?

Hair Gripes: I Am Not My Hair, Am I?

I have a confession. Lately, it’s been all about my hair. It’s all I think about and inevitably, it comes up in almost every conversation that I have. I’ve become one of those people who can’t stop talking about myself, or rather, my hair. Yet, knowing that I am being this way, I can’t help but continue. Why? Because more than anything, I am excited about the changes that I am going through, about my journey from relaxed to natural. I am enjoying experimenting with organic products, trying out different styles, and I like touching my hair and feeling my natural textures coming through. I don’t think I’ve ever been this obsessed with my hair. Sure, when I used to get relaxers I would touch my hair often, feeling my roots to make sure they were as straight as they could be. But this feels different. This time, I feel gratified to know that what I am touching is my natural hair and not something that is achieved with chemicals. I like that it’s mine alone. And that I love it!

So far, this natural journal is liberating me in a way that I never thought I wanted to be but I sometimes feel that my identity is just a tad bit wrapped up in my hair. This has been on my mind a lot more since I made the decision to take the next stop and go in for “the big chop” (will write about this in another post). I’ve worn short styles before but I don’t think I’ve ever been so anxious about losing hair. I must admit, I am a little scared, not so much about losing the length but more because I'm not sure what I will find after and how I will feel about it. Don’t get me wrong, I can sing the lyrics to India Arie's I Am Not My Hair at the top of my lungs and mean it. But when I reflect on those times when my hair has affected my mood I wonder how much stock I really put into the role my hair plays in shaping my identity. I’ve always been of the mindset that when your hair looks good you feel good. So what if I don’t like my hair in its natural state? Will I be in a perpetually funky mood? I seriously doubt that this will be the case because as I've been trying out new things throughout my transition and learning more about my natural hair, I am finding it surprisingly easy to embrace the bad (when my hair experiments fail) as well as the good (success).

Hair Gripes: On Transitioning

Over the past year I’ve been going through a sort of metamorphosis, mostly where my hair is concerned. Sometime last summer, I made a subconscious decision to eschew relaxer treatments in favor of letting my hair grow out naturally. In the natural community, this process is called ‘transitioning’. I’m still not sure how I arrived at that decision but even when I have difficulty taming my mane, I am confident that I made the right one. For me. Through the doubts and confusions of where I am in the process, what my hair will look like or feel like when I get to the end of it and what I can do next, I am also excited at the possibilities.

I’ve been fortunate in the sense that I know that I am not alone in my transition from relaxed to natural. As I have opened up about my experience, I have discovered several friends who have taken different routes but who are essentially going through the same thing. Some went directly for ‘the big chop’ to immediately rid themselves of all of their chemically treated hair while others took a more gradual route, getting regular blowouts and cuts over a period of time. I am doing neither. I haven’t yet decided which route I want to take. But as I work on figuring out my next steps, I have to say a big ‘thank you’ to my friend and natural hair guru, C., who offers advice, answers any questions that I may have, helps me to pick out products, and who featured my hair experience in this post on her site, Back to Curly, which goes into details about everything having to do with natural hair. I have found that in the process of documenting my hair journey, I am learning a lot about myself and about my hair. Happy Friday!

Random Gripes: Meetup = Fertile Ground

I generally do well at large social events but I’m not the greatest at networking. I can activate my social skills at will and make it through any situation but I don’t always feel the need to. For this reason, as much as I like to find opportunities to get out and do things, I generally shy away from joining Meetup groups. If I were to form my own group, membership would cap at 10 or 12 people. I have nothing against larger groups but I prefer to create conditions where I can actually get to know the people who are in my social circle. When that circle is upwards of 100, that’s not really a realistic objective. Besides, I view many of these groups as ideal opportunities for lonely men on the prowl to scope out women and therefore, not my idea of a good time. But when K. sent me the invitation to join a large Meetup group, I accepted. Despite the prowling men, the objectives of the group were of great interest to me and I actually like going to events and doing things with my friends. Go figure.

Since joining the group a few months ago, I’ve only managed to make it to two events spread months apart. The most recent event consisted of live music, free appetizers and chocolate. How could I pass that up? This time around, I sent out my own invitations and T. accepted and came along. Now, my friend T. is a flirt. It’s a fact as I know it. She calls it being nice and friendly but I know better. Even though I don’t usually have opportunities to see her in action, I’ve read some of the exchanges that she’s had with members of the opposite sex. Maybe I should be taking lessons from her…but in any case, the girl got skills! At the event, I don’t think it was so much her skills as it was her radiant personality (:-) that had the weirdest guy in the building beeming in on her and latching on as if for dear life!

Mr. Weirdo approached our group with a cheesy “Hey, hey. How you doing?” and proceeded to place his hand on T.’s shoulder and shift her so that he could eyeball the area where her nametag was attached. Above her chest. Not cool! If that were me, the evening might have taken a different turn but T. and I operate differently when faced with situations like this one. So while I tuned him out and returned to my pleasant conversation, she smiled and engaged in polite conversation with Mr. Weirdo. Big mistake! When T. threw out a Hail Mary and tried to engage others in their conversation, Mr. Weirdo wasn’t having it. He kept talking to T. Only. And when she excused herself to use the restroom, he hung around the area looking around, not engaging with others and presumably waiting for her return. And when she tried to keep a low profile and hide behind others, he ferreted her out and asked her where she’d been. When she dared to engage in other conversations, he continually stuck his head in and tried to draw away her attention. But by this point, T. had her blinders on and he was on permanent ignore. Finally, as we were wrapping up our conversations on the sidewalk before heading home, we noted Mr. Weirdo’s exit and saw that he hovered where we stood for a minute before continuing on his way. Whew! As annoying as he might have been, I gained immense pleasure from watching all this. But T. probably was not as amused. Hopefully, she won’t run into him at any future events. Happy Friday!

Random Gripes: Cool Venues But Room For a Little Nitpicking

I’m usually not one to complain (more like express opinions :) but within the past week, I attended two events that gave me real reason to gripe. When I arrived at these events, my sole intention was to have a good time and for the most part, I did. But in both cases, my opinion about the venues dimmed a little at the very end.

First, I participated in a beach event organized by relatively new group, Urban Escapes, in partnership with Crunch Fitness. Urban Escapes motto is “get out of the bubble” and for the most part, they organize trips for young professions who are looking for adventure outside the city. As far as I’m aware, they function in Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and NY. Recently, I participated in the Crunch Surf Trip which consisted of a bus ride to and from Long Beach, LI, lunch, yoga (not very practical on sand), volleyball, and anything else you would want to do on a beach. At $40, this was a reasonably priced trip (considering transportation alone) and for an additional $40, they even threw in surfing lessons for beginners. Since I have yet to master the art of swimming, this was not an option for me but I spent plenty of time hitting volleys (or trying to) back and forth on the volleyball court and splashing around in the surprisingly cold ocean on such an awesomely hot day.

Our guides were pretty cool, fun, friendly people and I could definitely see myself going on another trip with the company but they almost got on my bad side when my friend and I returned from washing the sand off to find the area where our group had set down our towels deserted! We’d hustled to make it to and from the restroom within the 10 minutes that they said that we had before our departure but alas, we were too late! We didn’t know where the bus was parked but we didn’t worry much. Not too much anyway. We retraced our steps to the parking lot where the bus had parked that morning but once again found that area empty. So we did the only sensible thing that we could think of, we wandered around hoping to catch sight of the buses while we rang the numbers that were provided in the confirmation email. No answer and no buses! And, just as we were about to despair that we might have to figure out how to get to the nearest LIRR station, we turned a corner and saw them…pulling off! Apparently, our guides hadn’t noted our absence and were not intent on looking for or waiting for us. Not cool! I had already notice that organization was not the company's strongest suit when I boarded the bus the first time but the thought never crossed my mind that I would be stuck in Long Island. In any case, we flagged down the bus as it passed us and was able to board with little more effort. Crisis averted!

Shakespeare in the Park was a slightly different but no less dramatic experience. I was fortunate enough to be given a pair of tickets to see The Winter’s Tale which starred Jesse L. Martin (Law & Order), Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Without A Trace) and a slew of others. The performances were inspired but it took all of my concentration to translate Shakespearean English into Modern English. Still, I laughed, I gasped and generally had a good time…until the show ended and the actors took their bows. I positioned my camera to take a picture of the cast and as soon as the flash went off, an usher was at my elbow calling me “ma’am” and demanding that I delete the photo. She was very serious and came across aggressively so I played along pretending to delete the photo. I was cool until she asked me to hand over my camera so she could check that I had in fact deleted the photo. She walked away without further protest after I told her that she would not, in fact, be touching my camera. But of course it did not end there.

At the exit, I was accosted by a security guard but this time, he saw that I had my phone in my hand and asked to check it to see if I had any photos. I grudgingly complied and opened up my album, although, I couldn’t help but wonder what they would have done if I had refused. But it was late, I was tired and my camera was safely tucked away in my bag. I didn’t care enough to put it to the test. I did end up deleting the photo because it was dark and out of focus but as I relive the experience, I wish I had kept it. Just because. If I manage to get tickets to see Merchant of Venice who knows what will happen…

Travel Gripes: Italy is Calling…Still!

Today I listened in as two men talked about their respective vacations to Italy. Their enjoyment could not be mistaken. I also had a brief conversation about my desire to visit Italy with someone who’s been there at least eight times. The advice that I received from my conversation partner wasn’t just to go but to hurry up and go. And, when I arrived at the library a short while later the When in Rome DVD was one of the first movies that I noticed. These things all happened in quick succession and I’m starting to think that these are signs that it’s time for me to make my dream of visiting Italy a reality.

I have been yearning to visit Italy for several years. I came close last year. I planned every details and presented them to the two friends who would be traveling with me for their approval. But when it was time for us to actually purchase tickets for our flights they both backed out (I was not happy about that: Grounded Traveler). And somehow, I found myself in California instead. Italy vs. California- there’s really no comparison and while I had a relaxing trip, I might have enjoyed my visit to California more if I hadn’t been thinking that I should be in Italy the entire time that I was there. But I managed to suck it up and decided that this year would be the year. I would make it to Italy even if I had to travel with a bunch of strangers. So, again, I researched the various tour groups, read the reviews, scoped out the selected hotels and as much as I tried to find a package that was in my budget and that suited me and the experience that I sought, I couldn’t submit myself to pay for a tour that did not meet the meager standards that I had set for it. Too much time on a bus, visits to tourist traps and stays in crappy hotels are not my idea of a good time. I might have been a bit more melancholy about the fact that I still have yet to make it to Italy if the opportunity to visit Spain hadn’t come up and if I hadn’t had such a great time there . But Italy is never far from my mind and at times I ponder what’s really holding me back from just picking up and going once and for all.

I would have said that having travel partners is a big part of why I haven’t ventured too far away but since Spain, I’m beginning to realize that solo travel is not as scary as I had imagined. I still believe that a good travel partner adds to the experience but it is no longer a requirement for me. And what about the time? And cost? Those are very real barrier, time more so than cost. While I am willing to sacrifice in other areas (clothes, entertainment etc.) when I am presented with travel opportunities, there is just not enough time (time off from work to be more specific) to see all the places that I want to see. I'm evidence of societal conditioning at work because I do believe that security is something to strive for so leaving my job to travel the world for extended periods of time is not something that I am considering at this stage. Unfortunately, my travel plans will have to fall within the confines of my PTO days. But I like to think that I use my time well. I don’t have enough vacation days to see Italy the way that I want to this year so it is once again back at the top of my list for next year. I believe that things work out the way that they are supposed to and with my upcoming milestone next year, I’ll have even more incentive to ensure that I finally make it to Italy!

Random Gripes: Thoughts & Ramblings

I've been in a weird mood lately. On the one hand, I feel this urgent need to accomplish some of the things on my extensive "list"- from getting my driver's license, becoming a better cook, improving my career prospects and my writing craft, learning to swim, to ride a bike, and the many other things that I feel I should do well but don't necessarily do at all. I've been doing my research to see what I can do to start whitling down my list yet at times, I don't feel like doing much of anything. Lots of time spent thinking and not enough action. However, I have been putting thoughts into words as the first step of making them a reality and to that end, I am becoming inately fond of making lists (remembering where I put them is another issue entirely). I am not sure why I have become so introspective as of late. Maybe it's because I am nearing 30. I have some time before I get there and I do not dread reaching this glorious age but as I draw closer to it, I can't help but think of all of the things that need to be crossed off my "list". I once heard this quote: "never put off til tomorrow what you can do today" which henceforth, I am adapting as my new life motto. It's becoming too easy for me to say 'I'll do it tomorrow' and let things fall through the crack. If I am to reach the goals that I set for myself, I need to hold myself accountable. Happy blazing hot weekend!

Random Gripes: Vacation!!!

Vacation time is here once again! Over the past couples days I've been running around getting what I need to ensure that my upcoming summer vacation will be a success. I did some last minute shopping, picked up a book for the ride, and got a lovely blowout as well as a much needed pedicure (which I promptly messed up when I got home and stubbed my toe- classic klutz!) But nothing will dull my excitement at this much needed break. My bags are packed and friends, food, and fun await. All thats left for me to do is enjoy!

*will update when I can*

Music Gripes: BET Awards, Chris Brown, Prince, and Everybody Else

Award shows, and the BET Awards in particular, know that in order to keep viewers coming back you have to give them something to talk about the next day. However, about an hour into the 3-hours long show, I thought that the BET Awards Show had missed the memo this year and was quickly on its way to becoming a snooze fest. Despite leading with heavy hitters like Kanye West, Usher, Alicia Keys, and T.I. the energy level was noticeably low to this blogger. No doubt, Kanye West’s opening of the show with a performance of Power while standing on a mountaintop a la Moses and special effects cranked way up was something magical to watch. But did it blow me away? Not really. Added to this, Usher’s follow-up slow number and Alicia Key’s compilation of her various hits did not impress. The show was going nowhere fast. Thankfully, the performances featured in the second hour kicked things up a notch and reminded me of why I continue to watch the BET Awards Show year after year (especially after the disaster that was last year’s show).

As the host, Queen Latifah gave it a good effort. In her opening, she shouted out popular rappers and other entertainers, performed a rap to the beat of Drake’s Say Something and throughout the rest of the evening, she paraded some of the characters that she played in various movies and series (Hairspray, Set It Off, Just Wright) onstage. She’s certainly not the best host the Show has ever seen but it was a good effort nonetheless. However, the real highlights of the show came via the performances. There were quite a few "good" performances throughout the evening but the ones that stood out for me were the various tributes, the gospel medley (although Kirk Franklin is better at directing than he is at singing), and the Diddy-Dirty Money (why do we keep indulging him with these silly name changes) collaboration with Rick Ross, T.I. and Nicki Minaj. I have to admit that I was a little worried when Queen Latifah first announced him because as we all know, Diddy-whatever is not at his best when he is performing by himself. But then the beat dropped and the energy level skyrocketed and I scaled back on the low expectations that I had fostered since I first heard his name. The man definitely knows how to put the right combination of people together.

Singer Tyrese’s tribute to the late Teddy Pendergrast was nothing to sneeze at either. Crooning to an audience of women waving panties in the air, Tyrese’s smooth moves and rich mellow tones did Teddy proud. He wasn't too hard on the eyes either. And then there was the Prince tribute. The camera continually returned to capture Prince’s reactions throughout performances of some of his hits by Trey Songz who bordered on cheesy, Janelle Monet who is a new hot one to watch, Esperanza Spalding who had a nice fro but was not otherwise memorable, Alicia Keys who scared me for a minute when she climbed on top of the piano with her pregnant belly but who gave a great performance and Ms. Patti LaBelle. Patti Labelle was clearly Prince’s favorite. He did not seem moved or even amused by most of the other performances but when Patti sang Purple Rain, he was on his feet, laughing and clearly enjoying the diva. Apparently, a divo giving a diva her due! I got the sense that Prince would not have made it to the BET Awards Show if he wasn’t the guest of honor. From what I was able to piece together from his short speech, he stayed in his hotel room for much of the show and only arrived just in time for his tribute. And, he didn’t even perform any of his hits. Has Prince really gotten too big for the likes of BET? I think that would be a fair assessment!

At each award show, BET has been known to dig through its closets and drag out entertainers who hadn’t been in the spotlight for years, some of whom (in the months following the show) saw new life breathed into their flat-lining careers. Maxwell was one such entertainer a few years ago although I dare say, his comeback was inevitable. El Debarge was clearly this year’s artist in need of a recharge but was last night also Chris Brown's second chance at redemption? No doubt, CB will be forever associated with the beating that he gave ex-girlfriend Rihanna. We’ve seen his efforts to offer up apologies fall flat and we’ve heard news of declining records sale. We’ve seen spoofs like this one that make it clear that CB was tried and found guilty in the court of public opinions. He was definitely feeling the consequences of his actions, as well he should! But could that all be at an end after last night?

Last year, I was very disappointed in the obviously hasty performances that were meant to honor the King of Pop. This year, Chris Brown did a much better job of honoring Michael Jackson when he sang some of his more memorable hits (The Way You Make Me Feel). However, after a dance sequence, CB became choked up when he attempted to sing the lyrics to Man in the Mirror. Publicity stunt? That’s certainly the sentiment spreading across the net, a sentiment that is supported by the fact that by the end of the show, CB was awarded the Fandemonium award, an award chosen by the fans. What better confirmation does he need that he still has a thriving fan base? Whether it really was a publicity stunt or not CB played it just right. Who can help but soften up at the sight of a man-boy crying and being overcome by his emotions, expressing remorse? And with that single act, he did what his appearance on Larry King Live and numerous tired apologies couldn’t; Chris Brown resurrected his music career! I believed him when, while accepting his award, CB promised his fan that he wouldn't let them down again. I believe that, or rather, I believe that he won’t let himself get caught next time.

Music Gripes: Celebrating the Life of Michael Jackson, On the Anniversary of His Death

On this date one year ago, the world was rocked by the news of the passing of the “King of Pop”. In my post, Death of A Legend, I expressed the shock that I felt when I first heard the news of Michael Jackson’s death. I still feel some of that shock today that this truly international, larger-than-life superstar is no longer around to grace us with one more hit. But when we look at what he’s already given us, it doesn’t seem so sad. I, like all his other fans, will be remembering the life of Michael Jackson through his music and through the tributes that will be held in his memory throughout the weekend. I will be popping in the CD when I get home but you can check out your favorite songs on the Michael Jackson Channel on YouTube. Happy remembrance!

Music Gripes: Introducing Michael Franti & Spearhead

Why haven’t I heard about Micheal Franti & Spearhead until about a week ago? As repetitive as I think Pandora radio is sometimes, they occasionally surprise me and introduce me to artists that I hadn’t heard about before. Such was the case when I first heard Micheal Franti’s Say Hey (I Love You) for the first time. When the tunes first started straining through my earpiece, I remember unlocking my phone so that I could see the info and commit the artist name and song title to memory for future listening. I was instantly captivated and as soon as I could, I took to YouTube in hopes of finding more by this “new artist”. There, I was rewarded in the form of another great song, Nobody Right Nobody Wrong and still I want to hear more. But why haven’t I heard about him before now? He’s fresh, interesting, soulful and more, basically everything that translates into good music. And, he’s been making those soulful tunes for about twenty years! From the way that Micheal explains it in a Billboard interview, he and his band adopted a grassroot approach where they took to the streets and brought their music directly to the people. And slowly but surely, the word is spreading one person at a time. I, for one, am happy that it’s finally reached me (consider this post as my effort to pass it on) and for the first time in a long time, I am contemplating buying CDs again.

Random Gripes: All I Can Say is 'Wow'

In a story reported in today's Wall Street Journal a deceased heiress, Gail Posner, left only $1 million of her entire estate to her only son. The staff made out much better, culling a total of $26 million among them while the dogs received $3 million for their care and the rights to remain in the home. What's wrong with this picture? It says a lot about her son that he got the worst end of the bargain. Although, I can't really see $1 million that you didn't have before as a bad bargain. In any case, as with every situation where the children of the rich don't make out like they thought they would, this is one for the courts to figure out.

Travel Gripes: Snapshots of Madrid, Toledo & La Alberca, Spain

What can I tell you about Spain? For someone who is as private as I am, it is sometimes difficult to determine how much to share. Would I be divulging too much if I mentioned names and showed faces? On the other hand, would I be doing it a disservice if I glossed over some of the details that made my visit so special, only sharing tidbits that my filter deems okay? I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle and it was with this slight reservation and this openness to experiencing something new that I jetted off to Spain. By no means did I see all that Spain has to offer. A fraction of a fraction maybe— enough to whet my appetite and leave me wanting more. But not enough to quench my thirst. I’m fully aware that there is a great big world out there and that I have a serious case of wanderlust to see as much of it as possible. That’s not exactly accurate. I don’t just want to see it, I want to experience it to the fullest extent. I want to breathe in culture and hold it inside me. I do not want to play tourist! One of the reasons why I enjoyed my time in Spain so much is because I got to eschew being a tourist for most of the time that I was there and just experience it. Through the program that I was apart of and through the people I met, I came away with more than a superficial view of a great country.

La Alberca










Though the time was short and although opportunities to travel through Spain were not plentiful (because of my work schedule), I saw just enough of Spain to know that I want more! First, La Alberca is not a place that I would have chosen to spend an entire week of my time, had I planned this trip completely on my own. The best way that I can describe it is as a well-preserved medieval village. From the villa where I was staying, the town center is a leisurely 20-minutes walk. I have always been a little geographically-challenged but even so, it’s almost impossible to get lost in La Alberca. It’s that small! I will say though, if you’re not careful when taking the back route through the dirt and the bushes, you could find yourself lost in the woods. And when taking the main road, being vigilant of oncoming traffic is a must. I didn’t see too many guardrails in La Alberca but I guess that goes along with preserving the town in its historical state. Although I’ve sworn that I could never live in a small town again, I did not mind being a 4-hours drive away from the closest major city. The mountain views, stretches of green, soft breezes, I was feeling it all. I felt at peace in La Alberca. And I had a great time connecting with wonderful people. So I enjoyed it.

Toledo










One of the perks of making new friends in La Alberca, is that I had a wonderful tour guide in M.I. when I made a day trip out to visit her hometown. Once the capital of Spain, Toledo (Toh-lay-doh, not to be confused with Toledo, Ohio) is another well-preserved town but if I didn’t have M.I. to show me around, I would have gotten lost a few times. Every turn produced streets that were narrower than the ones before and from what M.I. said, there’s one particular street where you could stretch out both arms and touch the other side. I don’t think I saw that street but if I did, I wouldn’t remember. After a while, the narrow streets started to blend together in my tired mind and I could not have gotten back to my starting point to save my life. But I really enjoyed learning about Toledo’s colorful history, seeing the chains that are all that’s left of those persecuted during the Spanish Inquisition, and meandering into a few of the numerous once-churches/mosques/synagogues that are now museums and bars. And the views- standing at a point where you could see the beautifully crafted buildings, some of which seems to have been built on top of each other. In a word, spectacular! But I was yearning to get back to Madrid…

Madrid










The word that immediately comes to mind when I think of Madrid is energy. It pulsed everywhere- in the building walls, on the beautifully cobbled streets, and in the air. On many occasions, it simply took my stepping outdoors into the beautiful weather for me to truly feel awake and energized. I love that feeling. I had become embroiled in the Spanish culture during my visits to La Alberca and Toledo and although I was only able to spend a few days in Madrid, there was much that I wanted to see and do. Tourist-y things. Unfortunately, I was thwarted at many turns. A visit to Prado Museum was on my must-see list but because of the way the schedule worked out I had to settle for the Reina Sofia instead. There, I saw some really weird art and was forced to contemplate this idea of what art really is. What are the criteria? Who set them? I’m not sure if I would refer to a series of tubes meant to depict the circulation system or an empty room with polka dots pasted to the wall as art. But there they were in the Reina Sofia nonetheless. The Palacio Real (Royal Palace) was another place that I anticipated seeing but upon arriving there on the scheduled day, I saw that it was closed for “official ceremonies.” I did not get to tour the royal rooms or sit on any of the thrones but I did console myself with a walkthrough of the courtyards.

Visits to Parque del Retiro, El Rastro for bargain shopping, and a Thai restaurant (Bangkok Thai) with an ideal view for people-watching were activities on my list that I did manage to complete, but only just (I did not spend nearly enough time just soaking up the sun because with so much to do in so little time I was always on the go). There was a lot of landscape to cover in a short time so I was only able to view small areas of the park on two different occasions. Similarly, El Rastro spread so far down the street that in my effort to visit as many booths as possible I only had time to take a cursory look at the goods before I had to catch the bus to Toledo. Nonetheless, I did not leave empty handy and I was glad that I got to experience it at all.

By far, some of the best parts of my time in Madrid were the evenings that I spent socializing and just being with some of the people I met in La Alberca. It was with them that I enjoyed an elegant dinner at Ginger and a more casual but tastier meal (including specially prepared ham) at Corea Restaurant, saw a bad movie (Time Travelers Wife) with Spanish subtitles, had wine and croquettes at the San Miguel Market, and visited a smoky disco (Torero). I was ambivalent about this last activity because although I danced, drank, and had an overall good time in good company, I wasn’t too pleased when I caught the distinct scent of the smoke that clung to my clothes and to my hair when we finally decided to leave in the wee hours of the morning (Spain has yet to ban smoking indoors so be prepared to leave any place smelling like a cigarette.) Still, I wouldn’t trade any of these experiences and I look forward to experiencing even more when I return in the near future.














Takeaways:

• A little Spanish goes a long! The owner of the hostel where I stayed did not speak any English and there were a couple occasions where our limited knowledge of each other’s languages led to miscommunication. Thankfully I was able to grasp on to words that I recognized and make sense of what I was hearing before I was kicked out of my room a day earlier than anticipated.
• Experience cannot be rushed! When traveling, don’t over-plan. Leave plenty of time to just be.