Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Travel Gripes: Getting There is Half the Battle (Pt. 1 of 2)

Undoubtedly, the biggest news surrounding the Tri-State area has been the blizzard that blew through on Sunday and pretty much paralyzed the area through most of Monday. Today, things are getting back to business as usual but last I heard there was snow accumulation of upwards of 20 inches in NYC and I felt just how strong the winds were during my brief foray outdoors on Sunday and Monday. Staying in was definitely the best course of action but since I was returning home from a holiday trip when the blizzard started, I had no choice but to hunker down and hope that I made it there as quickly as possible, with little incident. You see, with a whole day and a half off from work and the promise of an extended weekend, I took the opportunity to book a trip to visit family in Virginia. During the previous weekend, I’d taken a bus down to D.C. and before I could even leave the city, what had started off on a high note quickly went south when I arrived at the pick-up location and came upon the mass of people who were clogging up the sidewalks waiting for their delayed bus. My bus was in turn delayed and it took over two hours of standing in the freezing cold before the bus arrived and we were finally on our way. At the time, I thought that that was the worst that could happen but apparently, I was overly optimistic that nothing would mar the holiday weekend.

In general, I hate traveling during major holidays. There are always too many people in one place and inevitable delays. But it’s a necessary evil. And although I very much wanted to be home on Christmas with the rest of my immediate family, I could not go back on my promise to visit one particular family member who would be alone for the holidays. So I sucked it up and prepared myself to tack on at least another hour to my trip. But I could not have prepared myself for how long my estimated 6-7 hours trip actually lasted. Imagine this, we’re steadily rolling along for close to an hour after pulling away from a rest stop in New Jersey when the bus suddenly slows down and pulls off to a soft shoulder. The driver briefly steps out to check on something and is starting up again within a few minutes. My thoughts at that point were that he really needed a cigarette or to empty his bladder and I couldn’t begrudge him that, as long as there weren’t any more sudden stops. But that was exactly what happened. Not only once but three more times the bus started and stopped before the driver finally announced that he would have to pull into a strip mall close by and we’d have to wait about two hours for another bus! Throughout the stops, a few of my fellow passengers went up to the bus driver and asked him to tell us what was going on. Not an unreasonable request, considering we were paying customers and we were expecting our next and final stop to be in Virginia, not Delaware. But since the driver claimed not to speak any English, he pretty much ignored all questions and said nothing more than he felt that he needed to. One can imagine how someone would react to being ignored in such a manner but that’s Chinatown customer service for you!

The Chinatown bus companies have a long, storied history of poor, rude service, cramped buses and uncommunicative drivers and I saw evidence of this when I boarded the bus. The only words spoken to the customers were instructions to have their tickets available and when a passenger complained that his seat was wet, they told him to sit down. When he refused, the drivers told him to get off the bus and wait for another one and started pulling off before he’d gotten a chance to comply. If this was a sign of things to come, I missed the memo completely. In all fairness, if the proprietors and drivers were bad, the customers weren’t much better either. Many were loud and inconsiderate…but one can concede that their behavior manifested as a result of our shared circumstance.

When our bus broke down, instead of sitting quietly, napping, reading, or doing any type of constructive activity, most of the fifty plus passengers took the opportunity to socialize. Some made frequent trips to the liquor store and smoked and drank steadily for the over fours hours that we had to wait until another bus showed up. Some stayed on the bus and talked in loud voices to the people around them. And some gossiped about the people drinking on the sidewalk. One woman in particular seemed to feel duty-bound to give play-by-play announcements of other people’s activities. When people ran across the parking lot to find a restroom, she reported on it. When a group made yet another trip to the liquor store, she mentioned that too and made her disdain clear. Every word spoken and every action taken was an opportunity for her to comment. And judge. For me, she was one of the most annoying passengers because of her know-it-all, holier-than-thou attitude and strident voice that seemed to reverberate in my ear. Just my luck that she had the seat directly behind me! Of course, the real drama didn’t start until some of the drinkers were drunk enough to feel put out by the fact that we were well beyond the estimated two hours wait and there was no bus in sight and no forthcoming news from the driver. As if this would help our cause, a few of the drunks proceeded to curse and threaten the driver with bodily harm if a bus didn’t show up within a certain amount of time. This went on a few more times and thankfully, the driver survived each encounter unharmed. But I was relieved when a state trooper arrived (someone called to report the bus driver?) and these episodes came to an end. Since I was sitting in the second row, I couldn’t help but witness the exchanges and while the developing drama added interest to what could have been an otherwise dull trip, it shamed me. These were not people who I wanted to spend any considerable amount of time with and I’d have to consider other options when making travel plans in the future.

If I thought that our remaining 3 hours drive would pass in peace and quiet because of the late hour, I was once again proven wrong. Shortly after the state trooper arrived to question the driver and make some calls, another bus pulled up and we were quickly underway. We had first boarded the bus around 3 pm and it was now sometime after midnight. Clearly, many of us were tired but some people, mainly the drunk people, weren’t ready to pass out or let us rest. While the bus was in motion, the walked up and down the aisle, passed out liquor to anyone who wanted some, spoke in loud voices and generally made a nuisance of themselves. Some of the other passengers yelled at them to sit down and shut up and it was another hour before the bus finally quieted down and peace reigned. When I finally disembarked from the bus just before 4 am (a whole 12 hours from when I first boarded), I bitterly regretted that I had purchased a round trip ticket. I was not looking forward to repeating any part of that experience.

Check back for part 2 wherein I recount my attempt to brave a blizzard in order to get home.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Random Gripes: I'm the only moron in the world to get a JAYWALKING ticket!

A couple weeks ago, I received an email from 20SB announcing their eighth Blog Swap. I'd seen such emails in the past and had given a passing thought to participating but had never taken the necessary steps. You see, a Blog Swap involves featuring the post of a fellow blogger and being featured on their site in return. I have contributed to a friend's blog before but I haven't as yet featured anyone else on this blog. Sure, some of my friends have an open invitation to send me content or ideas they want to see me explore but having someone contribute an entire post is a new experience. And because I'm all about the experience, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to swap with guest blogger Africanlegend, who apparently had a recent run-in with law enforcement that he wants to share with us. Check him out:


I have long and distinguished resume of highly unlikely things that happen to me, I can regretfully report that I must add another.

January 2010….I AM ONE OF THE SELECT AND DISTINGUISHED CLASS OF ASSHOLES THAT HAS MANAGED TO GET A JAYWALKING TICKET.

THE STORY…..

It was a fairly mediocre Friday night, in fact in my memory, quite possibly as ordinary as Fridays can get. I was sitting in my living room. It was cozy, I felt safe and secure. Suddenly, I heard my phone vibrate and sprung up as if somebody poured a bucket of ice cold water on me. My friend Brian was downtown having fun and like a cancer the joy in his voice spread and I began to feel like a loser sitting on his couch on a Friday night: voluntarily. I jumped up to join him but quickly thought for a minute about the fact that I could hear my phone vibrating (doesn’t that defeat the purpose of having a “vibrate” setting?).

I arrived downtown. It was busy. There were drunken douchebags everywhere stumbling around. It looked like a moving Abercrombie catalogue with drunk models bumping their heads to bad hip-hop music. I finally found Brian and he was with two extremely crazy, unstable Englishmen, Matt and Ellis. Immediately I entered the bar the decided to relocated to another bar. Total alcohol consumption 0-1 beers.

The street was busy. We were at a four way stop and we decided to cut across the road to meet another walk signal (See: FIG A). My friends moved quickly across so I sped up to 1.75 times the speed of a casual walk. When I caught up with them, I proceeded to pat Brian on the back in some kind of boyish, “wow it’s good to be out” gesture.


Two seconds later we were apprehended by a couple of cops on bicycles. The Bicycle laden cops had got their perps and like a terrible cliché it happened to be four foreigners: a black dude, two Englishmen, and a Puerto Rican. In the back of my head I was thinking, “Oh no, somehow this will be filmed and I’ll end up being used in some anti-foreigner propaganda on FOX.”

A few minutes after we got caught…

Officer: Saw you crossing in the middle of road, I’m gonna have to right you up!

A.L: For what?

Officer: A traffic violation…

A.L: But I’m not in car?

Officer: You don’t have to be buddy. It’s Jaywalking!

A.L: HA HA HA…oh man like that segment on Jay Leno’s show...wait, seriously? Wait, I thought that’s not a real law. Is it?

Officer: You bet it is!

A.L: They arrest people for that? But it’s walking?

I started grinning and laughing under my breath, half-expecting that both officers would suddenly start stripping and our friend had played a distasteful practical joke on us.

Officer: SIR! Do you think this is funny? DO YOU THINKING THIS IS FUNNY!?

A.L: Well sorry sir but honestly, yes, a little funny. I just didn’t think anyone actually got tickets for stuff like this!

I realized I should just shut up. The cop finished writing me a ticket, looked at my Arizona ID and suddenly softened his aggressive tone.

Officer: You have an accent, where are you from?

A.L: Excuse me sir?

Officer: I mean you do not sound like you are from around here. Where are you originally from?

A.L: (puzzled) I am from exactly where my ID says, no place different.

Officer: OK? I was just trying to make conversation (in a tone suggesting that in this whole transaction that somehow I was the asshole).

A.L: Sir, forgive me if I don’t feel like a casual chit chat after getting a JAYWALKING ticket worth (I looked down)…holy Sh@T...!

MEANWHILE…

I looked across and the Matt/Ellis/Brian situation was panning out in a grossly less civil manner. Brian is telling a short, stalky officer that his mom is a lawyer and will throw the book at him. Matt was saying something non-aggressive but because of his English accent, which I admit even I don’t understand sometimes, he must have sounded like a Chelsea Football Club hooligan about to fight with an opposing fan. The officer that attended to me rushed over and grabbed Matt.

In any event, we all decided it’s better to just leave. As we were walking away, Matt began to vent to us, using a few choice words that wouldn’t fly in a class room. The officers, who had retreated by now to about 15 yards, heard him in the distance and in a bizarre change of mood, decided he needed to be arrested? Before long Matt was licking the wall while being handcuffed ~ FML

A few minutes later, we were sitting on the sidewalk watching Matt being tossed in the back of a paddy wagon. A black officer arrived at the scene of the crime. I thought I could at least reason with him, if for no other reason, because of our co-blackness but he didn’t listen at all. All he did was just repeat the same sentence over and over again as if a DJ was scratching a killer remix with a sample of his voice. I shook my head and walked away while he continued to mumble the same line over and over again. I began to suspect that at least this set of officers had smoked something tonight, and it was not for medicinal purposes.

CONCLUSIONS………..?

Yes you can get a Jaywalking ticket! They aren’t made up…

Yes it CAN cost $150…..which strangely is double the price of the ticket you get for running a red light, which may actually result in you running over someone that is jaywalking, but all that is semantics!

Don’t hang out with Englishmen….

If you are black, don’t expect the black cop to help you. He is one of them.

If you are comfortable and content just sitting there relaxing on a Friday night and you get a call from one of your buddies…SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND READ A BOOK!

Keep Griping!

To learn more about Africanlegend and to see what nugget I had to share with his audience, check out his blog.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Comedy Gripes: No Fairplay in Comedy

I might have mentioned that I had a few friends visit me this summer, all arriving within a week or two of each other. Whenever I have visitors, I try to plan activities that I know will interest them and while I think I did an okay job of it this time around, I would sometimes find myself thinking of activities that might have made for an even better visit for my friends. Such was the case when I casually mentioned to G. that I wish I had thought to get tickets to the Chelsea Lately show when she is in town. Chelsea’s comedy style is often dry and biting and can be summed up with the expression ‘take it or leave’. I thought G. would fall into the former group, and she did for a time, but now she is firmly in the other camp. She could think of nothing worst than sitting in the audience at the Chelsea Lately show.

Because it sometimes seems as though I live under a rock, G. sent me this clip as explanation for why she is no longer a fan of Chelsea Handler. Apparently, the comedian went much too far in perpetuating existing race stereotypes (i.e. all black women want to marry ex-cons and all black men end up in prison) and criticizing other minority groups. According to G., this has been going on for some time and even minority comedians who sit on Chelsea’s panel during the opening set are not immune from her criticism. So, while she was initially okay with it, G. feels that is has gone too far and that Chelsea’s joke are in poor taste. And, they’re not funny!

Now, I watch the show on occasion as a sort of nightcap before I fall asleep and thus far, I haven’t heard anything that I found offensive. Additionally, I watched the video and while it is not the most comfortable thing to hear, I wondered how this was different from the jokes that black comedians tell about people from other racial groups. Fair is fair, right? Not so, says G. Rather, she feels that blacks have hardly been on the receiving end of fair and instead, often have to be accommodating. I had to pause and think about this because on the one hand, G. is right. Blacks are still rebounding from a few hundred years of neglect and while some may think that we are at a point where we can say that everyone is equal, there is still evidence to the contrary. For instance, when blacks speak up or act out in any way, they are viewed as confrontational and reprimanded in some way. For whites, overly emotional behavior is simply seen as a personality trait and shrugged off. Obviously, we live in a world where there are shades of gray and things are far from clear. But consider this example and you’ll see G.’s point.

On the other hand, do we have any right to expect that whites will hold back when we so freely paint insulting images of them and of each other, all in the name of comedy? Should jokes about minorities be limited to minority comedians while white jokes are open to all? Will we ever get to a point where we can say fair is fair and have evidence to support that expression? Something to think about…

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Travel Gripes: Homegrown Travel, Las Vegas Edition (Pt. 3 of 3)

I've heard the expression ‘everything's bigger in Texas’ but after my most recent trip to celebrate a friend's birthday, I think it should rightfully be changed to 'everything’s bigger in Las Vegas.' Truly! I used to marvel at the fact that Macy's at Herald Square stretched all the way from 6th to 7th avenue and across two city blocks. But after witnessing the magnificence of the resorts in Vegas— miles and miles of hotel and casino real estate big enough to house roller coasters, theaters, nightclubs, restaurants, and more— I haven’t looked at Macy’s the same way again. While planning this first visit to Las Vegas, N. and I were not wise to the layout. We foolishly thought that one block in our respective cities was equivalent to one city block in Las Vegas and that our hotel, Mandalay Bay, would be well within walking distance of at least mid-strip, although it was located at the south end of the strip. After all, everything looked to be so close together on the maps. How wrong we were! Most resorts stretched upwards and spanned well over a mile. On the plus side, we got plenty of exercise on our daily jaunts. On the other hand, unless one of us had a burning desire to visit another casino, say Treasure Island, we often limited out late-night excursions to casinos that were easily traversed to and from Mandalay Bay on foot.










Our first night in Vegas was…a snooze, but a well-needed one. The plan was to drop off our luggage, freshen up and go down to the casino and/or one of the lounges. Of course, we neglected to take into account that we’d both be working a full day before boarding our flights and that when we arrived, we would have lost three hours with the time change. So what actually happened is that my flight landed just after 10 pm and we arrived exhausted at our hotel just before midnight. Instead of freshening up, we rested up…and woke early the next morning. Sadly, we weren’t quite over our jetlag from that first night because the next night, we again laid down for a rest just after 10 pm and woke up much later than the hour we had planned for that would have had us out the door and flashing our VIP wristbands before the midnight deadline. But while we were catching up on sleep and adjusting to the current time zone those first two nights, we managed to pack a lot into our days.











For breakfast we didn’t stray too far from Mandalay Bay. Our hotel was home to three cafes/buffets and we were content to start our mornings off in a leisurely manner before heading out to explore each day. By chance, we spent a good portion of our time at the MGM Grand (ironically, this was my first choice for accommodations). Since we were situated at one end, MGM Grand seemed to be our connecting point to the rest of strip and each day found us there either gambling (low-risk) and indulging in the free drinks, taking in the Cirque Du Soleil show, Ka, eating what would be our best meal for the entire weekend at Fiamma Trattoria, and patronizing the ultra lounge, Tabu where a group of bachelors tried to convince us to dance on their table. Of course, we also popped into New York New York, Cesar’s Palace and a few other casinos, made time for shopping at the Miracle Mile Shops, took in a low-budget but entertaining variety show, V, and based on the recommendation of a local, ate a truly horribly dinner at Planet Dailies in Planet Hollywood. The Eiffel Tower observation deck was a must-do because it offered amazing views of the entire strip and parts of downtown. We also had a bird’s eye view of the water show in front of the Bellagio and as good as it was up high, it was even more spectacular when we stopped by the posh resort to get a more close-up view. Finally, at N.’ s request, we spent our last day learning about one of the man-made wonders close by, the Hoover Dam. We lucked out with a knowledgeable tour guide who also tacked on stops to the welcome sign, through parts of the downtown area, and across the entire strip, all accompanied with factual tidbits. Quite a bargain! Although we would have loved to have seen it, making it to the Grand Canyon required more time than we had to spare but it really would have been a shame to get so close and not see at least one of the United States’ great accomplishments.











Unfortunately, while we managed to do and see a lot, there were a couple things on our must-do list that we missed out on. After our all-day trip to the Hoover Dam, we had little time in which to eat a quick, overpriced dinner at Border Grill before taking the tram to Excalibur and trekking over to MGM Grand, where we would catch the monorail across the strip near Casino Royale, the closest stop for our ultimate destination, Treasure Island. We burned a fair amount of calories in our attempt to get there before the Sirens of the Cove show started. Only, when we got there, rather than performing the pirates and sirens were posing for pictures! Apparently, because of high winds and inclement weather, the 8:30 pm show had been cancelled. Yes, Vegas was cold and windy! We had the option to check back around 10 pm on the off chance that the next show would go on. Or not! Since we’d already planned to stop by the Flamingo to catch the George Wallace comedy special, we decided against staying and headed southward, bypassing the volcano show at the Mirage. Other than temporarily sheltering us from the cold, the outdated bright pink confection that is the Flamingo was a bust. The comedy show was close to being sold out except for two tables in the back of the room. For N. and I, that just wouldn’t do. We’d luxuriated in the orchestra section when we saw Ka and just couldn’t bring ourselves to pay good money for bad seats. So, we took the only option left to us: headed back to our hotel to get club-ready. Although we had early flights the next morning, we made the most of our last night, flashing our VIP passes at the Foundation Room, the Cathouse, and grooving at a couple of the open area lounges. None could be considered the best clubs I’ve ever been to but I dare say that they made for a fitting end to a trip to fabulous Las Vegas.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Travel Gripes: Homegrown Travel, New Orleans Edition (Pt. 2 of 3)

Independence Day found me smack dab in the middle of a weeklong trip to New Orleans. While G., C. and I had briefly discussed heading down for the Essence Festival in separate conversations last year, no plans were ever formed. This year, planning was quickly underway and everything came together beautifully to the point that months in advance, four of us had both flights and concert tickets in hand. G.’s family hosted and were the epitome of southern hospitality. We ate great local food (jambalaya, gumbo, po’boys), slept in comfortable beds, and basked in good company. While our main purpose for being in town was to attend the concerts and related events, we took full advantage of the opportunity to soak up the culture of a truly unique city.









Insisting that we wake up before 5am so that we could go watch the Steve Harvey Show as it broadcast live at the Convention Center was not one of my brighter ideas. On the occasion when my eyes try to open at such an hour, I usually force them close in my attempt to get another hour or two of sleep in before I have to get up and start my day. But since we were on vacation...We might have survived the morning if we hadn’t spent the previous night barhopping in the French Quarter but since we did, most of us were in crash mode for the better part of the morning. But it’s all about the experience right? Other than that first day, G., C., V., and I enjoyed leisurely mornings followed by days spent shopping, dropping in on the conferences at the Convention Center, people watching, taking the ferry, daiquiri runs, family barbeques, and checking out the changes around town since Hurricane Katrina.









By far, some of our best concert moments include second line dancing with some wanna-be pimps, getting up close and personal with Chrissette Michelle and Estelle in the super lounges, and watching the Mary J. Blige and Alicia Keys performances from the floor of the Superdome. How we got to the floor is a story in and of itself, one that includes a complete loss of dignity, crawling across entire rows of people so that we could get to the security entrance that would give us the best chance of gaining access to the floor where our hook-up was saving premium seats for us. Under normal circumstances I don’t like to beg. I abhor it. So having to beg and being rejected multiple times before the guards took pity on us and finally allowed us entrance left me feeling a bit like groupie that first night. It was more than I was willing to take so being questioned by security and asked to produce a floor ticket while my friends looked on was enough to send me over the edge. I was ready to bite someone's head off and would have surely been kicked out of the arena but thankfully our hook-up came by in the nick of time and helped salvage what could have been an embarrassing end to an interesting evening. Yet, it only took Mary J. walking out on stage to bring us all to our feet and help us forget just how precarious our position really was. Behold, the beauty of great music!





Coming up, highlights of my recent trip to fabulous Las Vegas!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Travel Gripes: Homegrown Travel, Chicago Edition (Pt. 1 of 3)

I love to travel! There’s nothing quite like the excitement I feel when I am getting ready to go off on another adventure. I am not so much a fan of the process of getting there (who wants to be bothered with long flights and airport security?) but once I am there, it’s all about hitting the ground running. I like to intersperse moments of relaxation into my travel but it is by no means my main goal. Rather, I like to fill my days seeing as much as possible and participating in as many local activities as I can before falling into bed from exhaustion each night. I get pretty good sleep at home so when I vacation, my focus is on being an active participant. Of course, if some of the activities are of a restful nature that’s fine too.

I've been fortunate to have taken a few great trips this year and as the time when I will start planning my next adventure abroad nears and as I feel the claws of wanderlust slowly sinking in, I’ve taken some time to reflect on some of the trips that contributed to making this year such a great one. I wrote extensively about my trip to Spain this past Spring and since that visit marked my first time in Europe, it's understandable that I would bask in remembrance. But I've been remiss in sharing some of the fun that I had right here on the home front. Hence, this series of posts with highlight my visits to Chicago, New Orleans, and Las Vegas.

Chicago

I kicked off New Years with an extended weekend in Chicago (by way of Milwaukee) and from the moment I arrived, sleep became a valuable commodity that I could ill afford. Just the way I like it! After my delayed flight finally touched down on a snow-covered runway, I had just enough time to drop my luggage off and eat a quick dinner before G. was shuffling us out the door to meet up with V. and hit the town. This set the tone for the long weekend in Chicago. Our days started late in the mornings at which point we'd eat a leisurely breakfast, head out for sightseeing and shopping, and return home early in the evening for a home-cooked meal, courtesy of G. We'd then relax for a bit before preparing ourselves for nights that ended in the wee hours of the morning, where we’d go from club to club and party to party. We didn’t waste time thinking about too much beyond the moment. So, it's only fitting that our last night in Chicago would have us returning home from a reggae club after 3am and waking up an hour or so later so that I could make my 6am flight home. I was very much awake and on the edge of my seat, watching the minutes fly by but I don’t think I would have changed much (the misadventures contribute to the fun but the cold was another thing altogether). That last night in Chicago was arguably our best one and when I finally made it home a few hours later, I had plenty of time to defrost and catch up on the sleep I'd missed over the past few days.

A fun time was had in Chicago but if I didn’t mention just how cold it was there, I’d be painting too rosy a picture. It was freezing cold! There were moments when I questioned why I was standing outside in the cold, waiting in line to get into a club. G. and I would huddle up to the other club-goers, trying to share our collective body warmth. Granted, unlike a lot of the other people, we at least were wearing our coats and scarves. But in bone-penetrating cold like that, nothing short of staying indoors is ever quite enough. I have never been a fan of extreme temps and although hard to avoid given where I live, I try to stay out of it as much as possible. So Chicago for New Years would seem like an odd choice. I can only chalk it up to invitation offer and acceptance, available vacation time, and impulse. I’ve found that my best trips were the ones that I either planned at the last minute or booked almost immediately. No chance for over-thinking to ruin well-laid plans!

Check back over the next few days for highlights (with pics) of my visits to New Orleans and Las Vegas.
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