Random Gripes: Meetup = Fertile Ground

I generally do well at large social events but I’m not the greatest at networking. I can activate my social skills at will and make it through any situation but I don’t always feel the need to. For this reason, as much as I like to find opportunities to get out and do things, I generally shy away from joining Meetup groups. If I were to form my own group, membership would cap at 10 or 12 people. I have nothing against larger groups but I prefer to create conditions where I can actually get to know the people who are in my social circle. When that circle is upwards of 100, that’s not really a realistic objective. Besides, I view many of these groups as ideal opportunities for lonely men on the prowl to scope out women and therefore, not my idea of a good time. But when K. sent me the invitation to join a large Meetup group, I accepted. Despite the prowling men, the objectives of the group were of great interest to me and I actually like going to events and doing things with my friends. Go figure.

Since joining the group a few months ago, I’ve only managed to make it to two events spread months apart. The most recent event consisted of live music, free appetizers and chocolate. How could I pass that up? This time around, I sent out my own invitations and T. accepted and came along. Now, my friend T. is a flirt. It’s a fact as I know it. She calls it being nice and friendly but I know better. Even though I don’t usually have opportunities to see her in action, I’ve read some of the exchanges that she’s had with members of the opposite sex. Maybe I should be taking lessons from her…but in any case, the girl got skills! At the event, I don’t think it was so much her skills as it was her radiant personality (:-) that had the weirdest guy in the building beeming in on her and latching on as if for dear life!

Mr. Weirdo approached our group with a cheesy “Hey, hey. How you doing?” and proceeded to place his hand on T.’s shoulder and shift her so that he could eyeball the area where her nametag was attached. Above her chest. Not cool! If that were me, the evening might have taken a different turn but T. and I operate differently when faced with situations like this one. So while I tuned him out and returned to my pleasant conversation, she smiled and engaged in polite conversation with Mr. Weirdo. Big mistake! When T. threw out a Hail Mary and tried to engage others in their conversation, Mr. Weirdo wasn’t having it. He kept talking to T. Only. And when she excused herself to use the restroom, he hung around the area looking around, not engaging with others and presumably waiting for her return. And when she tried to keep a low profile and hide behind others, he ferreted her out and asked her where she’d been. When she dared to engage in other conversations, he continually stuck his head in and tried to draw away her attention. But by this point, T. had her blinders on and he was on permanent ignore. Finally, as we were wrapping up our conversations on the sidewalk before heading home, we noted Mr. Weirdo’s exit and saw that he hovered where we stood for a minute before continuing on his way. Whew! As annoying as he might have been, I gained immense pleasure from watching all this. But T. probably was not as amused. Hopefully, she won’t run into him at any future events. Happy Friday!

Random Gripes: Cool Venues But Room For a Little Nitpicking

I’m usually not one to complain (more like express opinions :) but within the past week, I attended two events that gave me real reason to gripe. When I arrived at these events, my sole intention was to have a good time and for the most part, I did. But in both cases, my opinion about the venues dimmed a little at the very end.

First, I participated in a beach event organized by relatively new group, Urban Escapes, in partnership with Crunch Fitness. Urban Escapes motto is “get out of the bubble” and for the most part, they organize trips for young professions who are looking for adventure outside the city. As far as I’m aware, they function in Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and NY. Recently, I participated in the Crunch Surf Trip which consisted of a bus ride to and from Long Beach, LI, lunch, yoga (not very practical on sand), volleyball, and anything else you would want to do on a beach. At $40, this was a reasonably priced trip (considering transportation alone) and for an additional $40, they even threw in surfing lessons for beginners. Since I have yet to master the art of swimming, this was not an option for me but I spent plenty of time hitting volleys (or trying to) back and forth on the volleyball court and splashing around in the surprisingly cold ocean on such an awesomely hot day.

Our guides were pretty cool, fun, friendly people and I could definitely see myself going on another trip with the company but they almost got on my bad side when my friend and I returned from washing the sand off to find the area where our group had set down our towels deserted! We’d hustled to make it to and from the restroom within the 10 minutes that they said that we had before our departure but alas, we were too late! We didn’t know where the bus was parked but we didn’t worry much. Not too much anyway. We retraced our steps to the parking lot where the bus had parked that morning but once again found that area empty. So we did the only sensible thing that we could think of, we wandered around hoping to catch sight of the buses while we rang the numbers that were provided in the confirmation email. No answer and no buses! And, just as we were about to despair that we might have to figure out how to get to the nearest LIRR station, we turned a corner and saw them…pulling off! Apparently, our guides hadn’t noted our absence and were not intent on looking for or waiting for us. Not cool! I had already notice that organization was not the company's strongest suit when I boarded the bus the first time but the thought never crossed my mind that I would be stuck in Long Island. In any case, we flagged down the bus as it passed us and was able to board with little more effort. Crisis averted!

Shakespeare in the Park was a slightly different but no less dramatic experience. I was fortunate enough to be given a pair of tickets to see The Winter’s Tale which starred Jesse L. Martin (Law & Order), Marianne Jean-Baptiste (Without A Trace) and a slew of others. The performances were inspired but it took all of my concentration to translate Shakespearean English into Modern English. Still, I laughed, I gasped and generally had a good time…until the show ended and the actors took their bows. I positioned my camera to take a picture of the cast and as soon as the flash went off, an usher was at my elbow calling me “ma’am” and demanding that I delete the photo. She was very serious and came across aggressively so I played along pretending to delete the photo. I was cool until she asked me to hand over my camera so she could check that I had in fact deleted the photo. She walked away without further protest after I told her that she would not, in fact, be touching my camera. But of course it did not end there.

At the exit, I was accosted by a security guard but this time, he saw that I had my phone in my hand and asked to check it to see if I had any photos. I grudgingly complied and opened up my album, although, I couldn’t help but wonder what they would have done if I had refused. But it was late, I was tired and my camera was safely tucked away in my bag. I didn’t care enough to put it to the test. I did end up deleting the photo because it was dark and out of focus but as I relive the experience, I wish I had kept it. Just because. If I manage to get tickets to see Merchant of Venice who knows what will happen…

Travel Gripes: Italy is Calling…Still!

Today I listened in as two men talked about their respective vacations to Italy. Their enjoyment could not be mistaken. I also had a brief conversation about my desire to visit Italy with someone who’s been there at least eight times. The advice that I received from my conversation partner wasn’t just to go but to hurry up and go. And, when I arrived at the library a short while later the When in Rome DVD was one of the first movies that I noticed. These things all happened in quick succession and I’m starting to think that these are signs that it’s time for me to make my dream of visiting Italy a reality.

I have been yearning to visit Italy for several years. I came close last year. I planned every details and presented them to the two friends who would be traveling with me for their approval. But when it was time for us to actually purchase tickets for our flights they both backed out (I was not happy about that: Grounded Traveler). And somehow, I found myself in California instead. Italy vs. California- there’s really no comparison and while I had a relaxing trip, I might have enjoyed my visit to California more if I hadn’t been thinking that I should be in Italy the entire time that I was there. But I managed to suck it up and decided that this year would be the year. I would make it to Italy even if I had to travel with a bunch of strangers. So, again, I researched the various tour groups, read the reviews, scoped out the selected hotels and as much as I tried to find a package that was in my budget and that suited me and the experience that I sought, I couldn’t submit myself to pay for a tour that did not meet the meager standards that I had set for it. Too much time on a bus, visits to tourist traps and stays in crappy hotels are not my idea of a good time. I might have been a bit more melancholy about the fact that I still have yet to make it to Italy if the opportunity to visit Spain hadn’t come up and if I hadn’t had such a great time there . But Italy is never far from my mind and at times I ponder what’s really holding me back from just picking up and going once and for all.

I would have said that having travel partners is a big part of why I haven’t ventured too far away but since Spain, I’m beginning to realize that solo travel is not as scary as I had imagined. I still believe that a good travel partner adds to the experience but it is no longer a requirement for me. And what about the time? And cost? Those are very real barrier, time more so than cost. While I am willing to sacrifice in other areas (clothes, entertainment etc.) when I am presented with travel opportunities, there is just not enough time (time off from work to be more specific) to see all the places that I want to see. I'm evidence of societal conditioning at work because I do believe that security is something to strive for so leaving my job to travel the world for extended periods of time is not something that I am considering at this stage. Unfortunately, my travel plans will have to fall within the confines of my PTO days. But I like to think that I use my time well. I don’t have enough vacation days to see Italy the way that I want to this year so it is once again back at the top of my list for next year. I believe that things work out the way that they are supposed to and with my upcoming milestone next year, I’ll have even more incentive to ensure that I finally make it to Italy!

Random Gripes: Thoughts & Ramblings

I've been in a weird mood lately. On the one hand, I feel this urgent need to accomplish some of the things on my extensive "list"- from getting my driver's license, becoming a better cook, improving my career prospects and my writing craft, learning to swim, to ride a bike, and the many other things that I feel I should do well but don't necessarily do at all. I've been doing my research to see what I can do to start whitling down my list yet at times, I don't feel like doing much of anything. Lots of time spent thinking and not enough action. However, I have been putting thoughts into words as the first step of making them a reality and to that end, I am becoming inately fond of making lists (remembering where I put them is another issue entirely). I am not sure why I have become so introspective as of late. Maybe it's because I am nearing 30. I have some time before I get there and I do not dread reaching this glorious age but as I draw closer to it, I can't help but think of all of the things that need to be crossed off my "list". I once heard this quote: "never put off til tomorrow what you can do today" which henceforth, I am adapting as my new life motto. It's becoming too easy for me to say 'I'll do it tomorrow' and let things fall through the crack. If I am to reach the goals that I set for myself, I need to hold myself accountable. Happy blazing hot weekend!