Thursday, June 4, 2009
Me, Controlling? I Think Not!
A male friend told me that I was controlling, that I want to be the one in control especially as it relates to my relationships with the opposite sex. I usually dismiss him when he makes stupid comments like that but since he’s known me for many years and is my go-to for a male perspective, I humored him, heard him out, and asked for clarification. In a nutshell, he said that I always like things to be on my terms, to go where I want to go when I want to go and do what I want to do. When I asked for a basis for his assessment, he informed me that it was due to a combination of information that I shared with him and his experience in the role of my friend. His problem is that he thinks he knows me better than I know myself and I also know that his reasons are purely selfish ones. I’m more than happy to go with the flow from time to time, to let someone else take control. I want to be able to sit back and have someone else exert some energy to get things going- as long as I don’t have to wait too long for that to happen. If I like your idea better than mine I will acknowledge that and act accordingly. If I think my idea is better then it will take a lot to get me to budge but ultimately, I’m not one to cut off my nose to spite my face. I’m nothing if not agreeable! Do I like having my way sometimes? Yes, but things don’t have to go my way for me to be okay with them. And really, who doesn’t like having their way once in a while? Maybe he just used the wrong term because that doesn’t necessarily make me controlling but in any case, “S”, you can just take your stupid opinion and shove it!
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