Book Gripes: The Four Agreements

I’m not a fan of self help books. I am not completely averse to those books that tackle intangible issues such as a happiness and personal growth and try to sell people on a particular concept. But I don’t buy that we can reach these very personal goals through someone else’s methods. One-size-fits-all does not apply and I believe that we dictate our level of growth and happiness. Do we really need someone to tell us this or try to sell us on their methods? It is with this ambivalence that I recently read Don Miguel Ruiz’s, The Four Agreements , which is promoted as a guide to personal freedom.

The Four Agreements are:

• Be impeccable with your word
• Don’t take anything personally
• Don’t make assumptions
• Always do your best

Although a mere 130 something pages, this little book took quite a bit of time and effort to read, not because the concepts were difficult to grasp but because I had very little interest in reading it. I wholly agreed that the Agreements were reasonable but I found the details designed to clarify them to be unnecessary. The fact that I was able to finish is a testament to my determination. Sheer willpower! I knew a few pages in that I would not glean anything more from this exalted text than I had already gathered from the book jacket when I first picked up the book from my local library. So why did I bother? Well, G. said that she liked it and when my friends recommend books to me, I like to give them every possible chance before forming a final verdict. And, for the most part, the book jacket was mildly interesting. The Four Agreements are certainly not new concepts but while I would often tell myself to do something or the other, I never looked at it as making agreements with myself. So I often broke these “Agreements” without giving it a second thought. If this little book did anything, it solidified the idea that I can and should internalize certain ideals and live accordingly. Still, if anyone asked for my opinion, I would tell them to read the jacket and skip the rest. Happy reading!