Music Gripes: Drake Fesses Up, Rihanna Played Him!

G. gave me the heads-up about an article that’s supposed to be coming out in the N.Y. Times on Sunday. Supposedly, in the article, rapper Drake admits that he had a fling with Rihanna and goes into some details about the singer’s treatment of him. According to the news circulating the Internet including on this site, Drake says that Rihanna used him as a “pawn” and strung him along. Just like’s he’s done with many women. It may be little of me to admit this but it’s always good to hear when guys get a taste of their own medicine.

The fact that the industry-proclaimed ‘second coming of hip hop’ got his heart broken is not newsworthy to me but it got me wondering about how many celebrity relationships are really built on love and mutual attraction and how many are generated in some publicity machine. Obviously, since a lot of these people are in the same industry they are bound to see a lot of each other. It’s not farfetched to believe that they would form mutual attractions and develop true feelings. In fact, there are many celebrity couple who seem to be blissfully happy together (whether they really are is another story). But you have to wonder about some couples. Are they together because of something real or because of what the other person can do for their career?

We can look at Rihanna’s situation and see why being paired with Drake would be a good look for her. I mean, he’s garnered a lot of publicity surrounding his music even before he put out his first album! I’ve heard of other artists who’ve made a name for themselves from mixtapes but none of them were the answer to the claim “hip hop is dead”. Not before Drake. Or so they say. I’ve heard the singles that Drake released and they’re okay but I don’t really know what all the hype surrounding him is about. Who really knows? I just know that if it’s true that Rihanna really did give him a taste of what he’s been dishing out, she did womankind a good turn.

Me, Controlling? I Think Not!

A male friend told me that I was controlling, that I want to be the one in control especially as it relates to my relationships with the opposite sex. I usually dismiss him when he makes stupid comments like that but since he’s known me for many years and is my go-to for a male perspective, I humored him, heard him out, and asked for clarification. In a nutshell, he said that I always like things to be on my terms, to go where I want to go when I want to go and do what I want to do. When I asked for a basis for his assessment, he informed me that it was due to a combination of information that I shared with him and his experience in the role of my friend. His problem is that he thinks he knows me better than I know myself and I also know that his reasons are purely selfish ones. I’m more than happy to go with the flow from time to time, to let someone else take control. I want to be able to sit back and have someone else exert some energy to get things going- as long as I don’t have to wait too long for that to happen. If I like your idea better than mine I will acknowledge that and act accordingly. If I think my idea is better then it will take a lot to get me to budge but ultimately, I’m not one to cut off my nose to spite my face. I’m nothing if not agreeable! Do I like having my way sometimes? Yes, but things don’t have to go my way for me to be okay with them. And really, who doesn’t like having their way once in a while? Maybe he just used the wrong term because that doesn’t necessarily make me controlling but in any case, “S”, you can just take your stupid opinion and shove it!

Steve Harvey: Men and Prioritizing

I was listening to a morning radio show earlier this morning when Steve Harvey said something that made me pause and pay attention. He said that “men prioritize everything” and further, if you feel that you are second on a man’s list it’s probably because you are. Being second is not necessarily a bad thing it just depends on what’s ahead of you. How true is this?

I’ve always felt that Steve Harvey gives good advice (see his book) but never more so than this morning. This particular bit of advice was in response to a letter that a woman wrote into his show (during the “Strawberry Letter” segment) asking for advice about how to deal with a man who she believes is a liar. Among the reasons she cited is the fact that he always spends time with her at her home—she can’t go to his—she never sees or hears from him during the holidays and he offers her excuses after excuses about why that is. This woman sensed that something was not as it should be but did what many of us do and ignored her intuition and continued to see him.

I can identify with this woman. In my particularly pathetic relationship history I’ve had opportunities (brief though they might have been) to see both sides of the coin. I’ve had someone call me every day—just to hear my voice—and try to keep me on the phone as long as possible. Someone who wanted to take me out on a regular basis and spend as much time in my company as I would allow. One who wanted to do things for me and get beyond my guard. And I’ve had the exact opposite of this: no phone calls, no dates, and minimal contact—just enough to keep me hanging around. In this latter case, I knew that I was certainly not a priority (I was so far down on the list that I might actually have been last) but I stuck around for much longer than I should have. I ignored my intuition. But there were lessons to be learned here and I learned them (I hope). Now, I am making a concentrated effort to keep myself at the top of my list.