Steve Harvey: Men and Prioritizing

I was listening to a morning radio show earlier this morning when Steve Harvey said something that made me pause and pay attention. He said that “men prioritize everything” and further, if you feel that you are second on a man’s list it’s probably because you are. Being second is not necessarily a bad thing it just depends on what’s ahead of you. How true is this?

I’ve always felt that Steve Harvey gives good advice (see his book) but never more so than this morning. This particular bit of advice was in response to a letter that a woman wrote into his show (during the “Strawberry Letter” segment) asking for advice about how to deal with a man who she believes is a liar. Among the reasons she cited is the fact that he always spends time with her at her home—she can’t go to his—she never sees or hears from him during the holidays and he offers her excuses after excuses about why that is. This woman sensed that something was not as it should be but did what many of us do and ignored her intuition and continued to see him.

I can identify with this woman. In my particularly pathetic relationship history I’ve had opportunities (brief though they might have been) to see both sides of the coin. I’ve had someone call me every day—just to hear my voice—and try to keep me on the phone as long as possible. Someone who wanted to take me out on a regular basis and spend as much time in my company as I would allow. One who wanted to do things for me and get beyond my guard. And I’ve had the exact opposite of this: no phone calls, no dates, and minimal contact—just enough to keep me hanging around. In this latter case, I knew that I was certainly not a priority (I was so far down on the list that I might actually have been last) but I stuck around for much longer than I should have. I ignored my intuition. But there were lessons to be learned here and I learned them (I hope). Now, I am making a concentrated effort to keep myself at the top of my list.