Old Posts: Second Attempt

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Resolution

Recently I saw a movie that implored audiences to really live life and not merely exist. I got the message loud and clear. I look back on the last ten years of my life where at least nine of them were filled with platitudes about my lack of time. If I didn't have a paper due or had a test to study for, I needed to grade papers or work on some other project. Or I was just plain tired. Work and school consumed me. Sure, I went out and had some fun once in awhile but I did not devote as much time to building up the social aspect of my life as I did to setting education and career goals and working towards them. I merely existed and there are a lot that I missed out on. I did not even start taking vacations until this past summer. But I have no regrets because I know that for everything I missed, I gained something in its place. Still, the theme from the movie struck a chord with me and from that point on, I endeavored to stop existing and start living. This renewed spirit is probably why I immediately identified with a song, "Invisible", I heard just last week. (This doesn't replace my secret belief that the chorus from "So Fesh and So Clean" is really about me of course; it's just a different outlook.) I particularly like this last verse:

"This can't be it for me
This can't be all I'm made for
And all my time wasted in this life
It's my time to shine
No more feeling insufficient
I'm gonna make my own decisions
It don't matter what you can or cannot see
I'm doing this for me"
- Jennifer Hudson

I realize that in my efforts to position myself for the long term, I had taken a backseat in my own life. But that time is behind me because "I'm invisible for the last time."